Scrupulous Scribbles

Don't Be Preachy: My 2 Cents

2012-01-16T16:20:00.000-06:00

I recently reviewed a book of fiction about a young woman who, after losing her brother and facing the possible loss of her mother, realizes that Christ is the only one who can make whole her broken heart. At least, that's what the story claimed to be. As I was reading, I saw teen romance heavily outweigh redemption. But I was assured that the romance was a key part of this story, and that I needed to leave off the assumptions I make because I grew up in a Christian home. It's important to not be preachy.

I suddenly felt something sink. I've heard it all again and again.

My negativity towards "don't be preachy" has grown steadily. At first I thought it harmless, simply a reminder that pulpit-pounding, red-faced delivery is unnecessary and not very friendly. But then I heard more of it. It seems that "don't be preachy" actually means don't preach at all. It goes along with thoughts like these: don't overwhelm people in your blog or you won't have any followers, don't be too negative, don't be too overbearing, throw a verse or two out but don't step on anyone's toes.

Now, I can understand a few things about this. I can understand that if I run up to someone on the street and say "You're a sinner and you're going to hell" then I will most likely get a punch in the face. I can understand the importance of positivity (and that there is a balance between postivity and negativity). But "don't be preachy" seems to me to be a way to play down things that should be played up, to hide things that should be shouted from the rooftops, to conform instead of transform.

I love that the Bible uses the phrase "preach Jesus" (See Acts 5:42, Acts 8:35). In Acts the church began spreading the Good News that the Messiah had come and that the world could be saved. I wonder what the men and women of the first church would have said if someone came to them with the message "don't be preachy." I wonder if they would've have laughed and continued to preach Jesus to the broken and needy.

I'll never stop preaching the truth. I'll never lighten the words of Jesus so that those listening will feel comfortable. Reading Jesus' words, you and I should be uncomfortable. We should acknowledge our wrong and cling to the saving power of Jesus. Then we should go out and preach Jesus to others, so that they can find the same hope that we have found.

"Don't be preachy"? Don't stop preaching.

Luke 19:40

The Difficulty of Letting Go

2012-01-15T16:28:00.000-06:00

My hands are getting tired.

They are wrapped around so many things: my Dreams, my Insecurities, my Worries, and my Ultimate Fears.

My Future keeps trying to get away from me, so I tighten my grip.

It's getting harder to hold on. I dig my toes into the dirt, but my hands are still hurting. It's like I'm holding onto a kite, and the wind is turning ferocious. I don't think I'll be able to manage much longer. My knuckles start cracking, and my arms are sore. I want to let go.

"Let me hold on for you," Someone says beside me.

"Are you sure You can handle it?" I ask between clenched teeth.

"Of course I can."

I still hold on. "I don't know," I mutter. "I'm just a little worried that if I give all this to You then things might not turn out."

"What do you mean 'turn out'?"

"I mean..." I'm embarrassed now, but the weight of what I am holding remains. "I mean, what if I don't get what I want? I know...I know that's selfish. But what about these Dreams? What if these things I've been wishing for don't come true? And what if these Fears overtake me? And what if my Future...what if it turns out to be nothing much? Or what if there's no future at all?"

"Well, if all that does happen, then you'll still have Me."

I look over my shoulder at Him and ponder His answer. "So I won't be alone?"

"You'll never be alone," He says. "Here, let me take that for you."

Fear bubbles in my stomach. "Why don't you just hold half of it? Take the Fears and the Insecurities, and I'll handle the rest."

"Do you think you can hold on for that long?"

I look up at the growing mass. "I don't know." The wind whips my hair and pulls harder.

"You see, you have to give it all to me. I can hold onto it. I promise."

I suck in my breath. "Okay...I guess."

He moves towards me and takes my burdens. I fall back and breath a sigh of relief, massaging my hands and flexing my arms. From where I am sitting, I look up to see Him holding onto everything with just one hand.

The wind dies down, and I am free.

1 Peter 5:7

All I Need

2011-11-13T12:21:00.001-06:00

I've read John 4 many, many times, but I never get tired of the story of the woman at the well. I've heard sermons about her, read books about her, and pondered endlessly about her. Maybe I like her so much because I can so often identify with her longing, her thirst.

When Jesus tells the woman that she is the one who should be asking him for a drink, not the other way around, I get chills. The woman's skeptical, of course. What is this living water? What makes Jesus so special that only he can deliver it?

Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this [well] water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

The woman said to him, "Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water." (John 4:13-15)

This is a time that I really wish the Bible gushed the details. How did she say that line? Did her voice shake? Did she have tears in her eyes? Did she pause a moment before speaking? Did she rush to speak before he changed his mind?

There are so many things that I've longed for in my life. Some longings seem a bit petty now, but some tend to stay with me, like longings for friendship, for love, for adventure.

The woman at the well obviously faced longings of her own. She'd had a few husbands already: maybe she longed for true love. She went to the well alone: maybe she longed for friendship. So many longings, so many thirsts. Yet each time she quenched one thirst another one seemed to pop up from somewhere inside her.

And then there was this man talking to her about a water that would quench her thirst forever, quench the longing deep in her heart that nothing else could satisfy. With tears rolling down her cheeks and a catch in her voice, she dared to believe Him. She struggled for breath. She spoke the words. And He quenched her thirst.

"Please, my Lord ... please give me this living water so I won't get thirsty anymore."

I can hear the words so clearly. Maybe it's just the echo of my own voice ringing in my ears.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with unfailing kindness."

(Jeremiah 31:3)

Confessions of a Real-Life College Student

2011-10-23T19:02:00.000-05:00

Having been a college student for two whole months now, I've made some observations. I don't think I'm too far off in my assumptions, but, if I am, please don't hold it against me. It's interesting to note that a widespread opinion seems to be circling that says arriving at college means arriving at life; as though you haven't lived until you received your college acceptance letter. I can see it in the eyes of my fellow students as I walk down crowded hallways and sit in stuffy classrooms: the heady feeling that life has just begun is thick among the freshman class.

Everyone seems to believe that college is the most magnificent time in a person's life. Television shows display a raving time of it; some even make late night studying look fun. Alumni grin as they recite embellished tales of their youthful college days. Through it all, little by little, the idea that college equals life seeps into young minds.

But with it is the knowledge that college life won't last forever. I can see that in their eyes, too. That's why one girl waits anxiously for a sorority to accept her into their group, why the guy waiting behind me in the Subway line groans about not being able to find a girlfriend. That's why I'm distracted in history class by the fraternity guys joking about cops breaking up their party, or why we're told by the campus health clinic that, yes, the most testing they do is for STDs, but that's okay, because we're college students. It won't last forever seems to be the ultimate message, so live it up now before your life, at least your college life, is over.

And through it all I find it funny in a not so humorous way that parents, professors, and most adults tell us to be responsible and look to the future. They don't even realize that the future, life after college, is the one thing that seems to always be there, lurking in the back of our minds.

Selfless Love

2011-10-09T16:21:00.000-05:00

I think it endlessly fascinating that Jesus declared the first and greatest commandment to be "Love the Lord your God" and the second "Love your neighbor as yourself" (see Luke 10:27). The first one definitely make sense to me, but the second one is something I often ponder.

The greatest example of selfless love is Jesus' sacrifice. He took the scorn, the spit, the thorns, and the pain so that we might have life. He took the incredible weight of all the world's sin because He loves us.

Parents often say they would do anything for their children, even if it means giving their lives. Couples in love do the same. But what if the person that you are giving your very life for is someone who hates you and ridicules you? That's exactly what Jesus faced, but He gave His life in love no matter.

It's hard to understand a love like that. Even more confusing, how could we ever love like that?

Maybe I'm just strange, but whenever I'm in a group of people, whether in one of my classes waiting for the prof to show up or a line at the grocery store avoiding the Snickers bars, I look around at all the people. There's so much confusion, pain, and insecurity in their faces. Only then I can begin to see where this selfless love comes into play. I can understand what it means to take Jesus and His selfless love to the world.

If not me, then who? Who will dare to be the one to put aside her (or his) own self -- wants, struggles, and all -- to really love others?

It's hard, yes, but I don't ever recall being promised easy.

Meditate on Mondays | From Isaiah

2011-10-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

On this mountain the Lord Almighty will prepare
   a feast of rich food for all peoples,
a banquet of aged wine—
   the best of meats and the finest of wines.
On this mountain he will destroy
   the shroud that enfolds all peoples,
the sheet that covers all nations;
he will swallow up death forever.
The Sovereign Lord will wipe away the tears
   from all faces;
he will remove his people’s disgrace
   from all the earth.

The Lord has spoken.

In that day they will say,

“Surely this is our God;
we trusted in him, and he saved us.
This is the Lord, we trusted in him;
let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

Isaiah 25:6-9 NIV

Starting Fresh

2011-08-16T09:03:00.002-05:00

Starting fresh is sometimes a difficult thing to do. When you're staring at a blank piece of paper, it isn't always easy to decide what words to put down first. And when the white of a blank canvas seems to be screaming at you with all of its brilliant blandness, you wonder where to put the first streak of color.

Right now, I'm starting fresh by moving from high school to college, and I have to admit that it is a hard move to make. Amid all my excitement and anticipation, a little part of me wishes I could go back to easier days and childhood freedom. I've entered the world of "grown-ups" and can't seem to keep from moving forward.

But thinking about starting fresh reminds me of an even bigger event in my life: the moment when I decided to leave all my mistakes and mess-ups behind, cling to Jesus, and live transformed. It was a hard moment, because I wasn't quite sure if being Christian and doing good and all that would really pay off. It seemed too hard to think about giving up my selfishness, by desires, my need.

There's a verse in the Bible, Galatians 2:20, that says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me." Over the years I've looked at that verse and a little swell of fear has risen in my chest. It's hard to think about giving up my very life and living "by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." As other verses mention, taking up my cross, following Jesus, and running the race are all very "start fresh" ideas, and they aren't the easiest to do, either.

The thing is, now, looking back, accepting the gift God freely gave me and leaving my mistakes behind was the oh-so-right step to make, and I have no regrets. Starting fresh was the best thing I ever did, and every day I start fresh again by praying that God would lead me through the day, watch over my often-too-talkative lips, and guard my mind and heart. It isn't the easiest thing I've done, but, with God's ever-present help, it is definitely the best.

Galatians 2:20 doesn't even scare me that much anymore, because I realize what it means to be crucified with Christ. As a well-known hymn says, "My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!" I'm new, made whole, and wrapped in the unending love of Jesus.

It is well with my soul because I decided that, despite my worries and fears and insecurities, starting fresh was the best step I could have taken. I have no regrets. None.

This is Life

2011-07-13T10:14:00.002-05:00

I think I've come to terms with the fact that life just isn't fair sometimes. From the moment Adam and Eve disobeyed God and sin entered the world, the imperfectness of it all swept over the planet and continues to revolve in a most unfashionable, unwanted manner.

I generally have this thought when any huge, unwanted thing happens, like a powerful earthquake or a devastating flood. The people it affected certainly didn't ask for it. Life's not fair, I mutter. It's amazing how many times I say that when something relatively small happens to me. Nothing earth-shaking or flood-like, just something small and personally devastating. Life's not fair, I tell myself.

But what is this Life, and why do we give it credit for this supposed unfairness? Wouldn't a Christian believe that ultimately God controls and allows these things, and not Life? I mean, you'd think Life was a person sitting across the kitchen table, and we are the ones yelling at it and demanding an answer.

Certainly we can't say that God's not being fair, because He is a perfect and just God (Deuteronomy 32:4). So we blame it on Life, which really had nothing to do with it all.

After some recent unhappy happenings related to my health, I continually thought, Life's just not fair. In the midst of one doctor giving up the hunt for the cause of my illness, I thought, Life stinks. Amid needles poking my arm and scans of various body parts, I began to think that Life has no control over this, and I should stop blaming it for my troubles.

But I certainly can't and won't blame God.

Psalm 138:6-8 says (emphasis mine),

Though the Lord is on high, He looks upon the lowly,

but the proud He knows from afar.
Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
You preserve my life;
You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes,
with Your right hand You save me.
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me;
Your love, O Lord, endures forever—
do not abandon the works of Your hands.

Romans 8:28 (emphasis mine):

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him,who have been called according to His purpose.

So the question is, do I believe those verses? Do I believe that no matter what, "God works for the good of those who love Him"? Do I believe that, no matter what trial comes my way, He "will fulfill His purpose for me"?

Do I really believe that? Do you?

Blessings

2011-07-10T18:31:00.001-05:00

I love, love this song by Laura Story, "Blessings." It has come to me in a time when I truly need it, because I'm facing my own unexpected trials and trying to trust and honor God through them. It's easy to feel hurt and disappointed by heartache and suffering, wondering why me? and what does this mean? Often it is impossible until years later to look back and see where God worked through the pain and through the difficulty. But I do believe that He works through it.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says:

But [the Lord] said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Power in a Drop of Rain

2011-06-21T15:24:00.000-05:00

Finally, the rain came. It started silently as a few sparse drops melted into the surface of the dry ground. The black clouds above, once considered an ominous threat, became a welcome sight as they opened to release a torrent of rain. The earth shuddered at the heaviness of it. It opened its cracked lips to take in gulp after gulp of the liquid. As the downpour came faster, the water spilled out of the earth's mouth and formed pools and rivers in shallow valleys. Just as quickly as the rain had come, it disappeared. The yellow-brown grass and fading tree leaves emerged green. A quiet hopefullness blanketed everything. With new vigor, the grass could continue to grow strong and colorful, the trees tall and wide. Though satisfied, the earth would remain thirsty always, welcoming any spare drop that splashed from the skies.

As I watched the rain fall over my parched part of the world, I was struck by how similar the sight was to a Christian's journey. Psalm 63:1 says, "You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek You; I thirst for You, my whole being longs for You, in a dry and parched land where there is no water." Have you ever felt like that? Thirsty for God? I have plenty of times, especially in the moments when it seems that all is lost, when I feel like giving up. Those moments when I echo David's prayer and cry out, "Why have You forsaken me? Why are You so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?" (Psalm 22:1)

Then the rain comes. God isn't as far away as I sometimes think He is. My thirst is quenched, my cracked lips receive balm. I am comforted by His promises. "I will never leave you nor forsake you," He tells me (Deuteronomy 31:8). "I love you with an everlasting love," He whispers (Jeremiah 31:3). "Don't you know how much I care for you? I sent my only Son to die for you, so that you might have eternal life with Me," He reminds me (John 3:16).

When you think about it, there is an amazing amount of power in a single drop of rain. It washes over a brittle leaf or dry piece of grass, disappearing swiftly into the dry ground where it snakes downward until it finds a root that it can bury itself into. The root, of course, welcomes the drop and draws it up, making the leaf soft and the grass green and moist. In the same way, our hearts welcome the hope that Jesus offers, and that hope rises in us, spilling out of us through words and actions to other parched travellers. Its a beautiful cycle that only continues as long as rain falls and hope spreads.

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:17-18)

What It Really Means: Trust

2011-05-27T13:52:00.000-05:00

Since my last post I've been contemplating the word trust. What exactly is trust?

Dictionary.com defines trust as "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing"; "confidence"; "hope."

So to trust someone we must rely on that person, have confidence in that person, and hope that the person will come through for us. That's pretty huge when you think about it!

I'm reminded of a classic Disney movie in which a character named Aladdin asks Jasmine, the beautiful princess, if she trusts him. She hesitates, and probably for good reason. Trusting someone is a big thing, and Jasmine wasn't sure if she could put all her hope and confidence in Aladdin helping her.

Making a huge leap from Disney movies to the Bible, I've been wondering what it really means to trust in God. It's not too hard to see that trusting in God means relying on God, hoping in God, and having confidence in God. But I have to admit that sometimes doing that is really tough, especially when I can't tangibly touch or feel the One whom I'm trusting in.

Yet the Bible is filled with verses about the hopeful results of trusting in Christ. Many Psalms reveal that trust brings deliverance and not disappointment, that God's unfailing love surrounds the person who trusts in Him, and that He helps those who trust in Him. I barely scratched the surface with those verses; there are just so many!

Since we know what it means to trust in God, what does it look like? Sure, we can talk about how important it is to trust God and what will happen if we trust God, but what does a person who completely and utterly trusts in God look like?

When I think of those who trust God, I think of Joseph, who trusted God even when his brothers sold him as a slave, when his master put him in prison, and when those he helped forgot about him. I think of Job, who lost his children, his health, and his possessions; yet, instead of getting mad at God or blaming God, he trusted in God. What about Jesus, who prayed that the upcoming days of abuse would be taken from Him, yet trusted God's plan no matter? Then there's Paul, who suffered great persecution and abandonment but still trusted Jesus.

So, why is it so hard sometimes to trust in God, perfect, unfailingly loving, ready-to-forgive God? I'm not sure I quite have the answer to that, though I think it could have something to do with the fact that trusting God means admitting that we can't handle everything by ourselves. And frankly it's plain hard to trust God when I see so much pain, suffering, and heartache in the lives of those around me, and often in my own life as well. But I continue to trust, knowing that God keeps His promises, and that even times of sorrow and disappointment will pass. And through every hardship, He is shaping me into the best possible version of myself.

This leads me to wonder, as I did in my previous post, about what others think when we tell them to "just trust God." Are we considering the possibility that they have no idea what trust in God really is? Or, maybe even more necessary, do we know what trust in Christ is? And are we actually living like we know what it means?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

New series maybe? What It Really Means

2011-05-16T10:37:00.000-05:00

I haven't blogged much lately, and that is mainly because some new life changes and adjustments have come my way. I'm learning everyday what trust really means, whether that is trust in doctors, trust that I will endure and overcome the next thirty minutes, or trust that God has a purpose for my life.

Lately I've been thinking about common words used in Christian settings. For instance, faith is used often, and so are trust, love, and obedience. But how often do we actually dig into the Bible and find out what these words really mean in their biblical contexts? I often wonder if the well-meaning individuals who often use these words (me included) really know what they mean. It seems that as long as we heard it said in church, by a Christian leader, or in a Christian book, we can easily use the statements without worrying about their biblical truth.

This leads me to think about what we say to others who may or may not be Christians. Are we too quick to use cliches that others may not understand? When we talk about faith, are we using the word to loosely, to imply that faith in anything is better than no faith at all? What about trust? Do we make it clear that trust in God is most important?

I think this is a perfect opportunity to look at some of the concepts that are often thrown around in Christian settings, to examine them next to the truth of Scripture, and to clarify that our ideas about those concepts come from God and not from human understanding.

I'm already thinking up another post titled What It Really Means: Trust. Maybe looking at a few of these concepts will help us to

"Test everything. Hold on to the good. Avoid every kind of evil."

(1 Thessalonians 5:21-22)

Glorious Day

2011-04-23T21:59:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow marks another anniversary of my Savior's resurrection, and this song reminds me so much of the great thing He has done for us. Have a blessed day!

Glorious Dayby Casting Crowns(Lyrics copied off of klove.com.) One day when Heaven was filled with His praisesOne day when sin was as black as could beJesus came forth to be born of a virginDwelt among men, my example is HeWord became flesh and the light shined among usHis glory revealed (Chorus)Living, He loved meDying, He saved meBuried, He carried my sins far awayRising, He justified freely foreverOne day He’s comingOh glorious day, oh glorious day One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountainOne day they nailed Him to die on a treeSuffering anguish, despised and rejectedBearing our sins, my Redeemer is HeHands that healed nations, stretched out on a treeAnd took the nails for me Chorus One day the grave could conceal Him no longerOne day the stone rolled away from the doorThen He arose over death He had conqueredNow He’s ascended, my Lord evermoreDeath could not hold Him, the grave could not keep HimFrom rising again Chorus One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies withHis glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringingMy Savior, Jesus, is mine Chorus

He Died for Me

2011-04-22T17:22:00.001-05:00

I nearly forgot about Easter.

Well, I wouldn't say I forgot. I just looked forward to it with indifference. A month ago my mom asked me about some Easter cards she wanted to send to a few friends, and I said, "Sure, they're great." I didn't really care, though.

It was only last Sunday when I actually started thinking about Easter, and then only the middle of the week when I stopped myself and realized that I was acting completely indifferent about the greatest day in all of history.

I can't even believe I was so uncaring about the great thing my Savior did for me. The fact that He did what He did not want to do, enduring the ridicule and torment, the pain and physical torture, because He loved me. The awesome reality that after three days of death in a dark and ugly tomb He rose and lived again! The great joy that someday He'll come back for me to fulfill all that He died for.

The most interesting thought that I have had is that Jesus still died for me, even while I ignored Him. Even while I was more worried about assignment deadlines and everyday crises than the death and resurrection of my own Savior, Jesus died for me. Even while I nearly let pass the remembrance of the most tragic and joyful event, Jesus died for me. Even while I was a sinner, Jesus died for me.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." (1 John 3:16)

Psalm 103

2011-04-15T08:34:00.000-05:00

The Lord is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass,

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting

the Lord’s love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children’s children—

with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

Psalm 103:8-18

(all emphasis mine)

The Gate

2011-04-05T08:21:00.001-05:00

Last Sunday night I watched Secret Millionaire, and what one of the "undercover" millionaires said was very poignant to me. Kevin and Diane Heavin, CEOs of Curves, lived on poverty level for about a week, spending each day with organizations as volunteers to eventually decide how they could financially support each. It's an intriguing show to say the least, and that episode's secret millionaires were truly willing to give of themselves and bless others.

Near the end of the show, Mr. Heavin created a stirring analogy when he described the gate at the entrance to his ranch. He said he realized that he took comfort in the fact that the gate separated him from everyone else, from the world. But after spending time outside of his comfort zone with autistic men and women, young men whose parents are in prison, and AIDS victims, he decided that opening the gate wasn't such a bad thing after all.

That simple analogy was like a huge whack on the head for me, and maybe it is for you. It leads me to ask few questions. What is my gate? What am I allowing to keep me in my own little world? What would happen if I moved that thing aside and reached out to a hurting world that needs Jesus, to hollow people who need to be filled? What if I opened the gate?

Do you believe?

2011-03-31T15:14:00.000-05:00

"The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me." (Psalm 138:8)

I added that verse on my high school graduation announcements (I'm homeschooled, so I can do that!). Graduation for me is only about six weeks away, and I'm both impatient and terrified. See, graduating doesn't just mean leaving high school. To me it also means leaving behind a very exciting and enjoyable chapter of my life titled "Homeschooling: Doing School in My PJ's and Hanging Out with My Best Friend Named Mom." (Actually, the title could be a lot longer than that, but I held back.)

It makes me a little nervous to think about leaving my current situation and moving on to something brand new and undiscovered. I'm not very good with not knowing things. It's like seeing presents under the Christmas tree and doing everything possible to ignore them or I'll end up opening them all before Christmas Day. I want to know now. But while thinking about my future and demanding to know now what will happen in the next months and years to come, I hear God telling me something so simple yet so difficult.

He says, "Wait."

But then He adds more. "I will never leave you, my beloved. I have plans for you. For now, be patient."

Then it's up to me. Do I believe what my Lord says to me? Do I repeat Psalm 138:8 and declare that the Lord will fulfill His purpose for me? Do I trust that God has a plan for my days after high school, my years in college, and my life afterwards? Do I know with all of my heart that He will be with me through it all?

I do.

Do you?

Beginning and Ending

2011-03-26T16:04:00.001-05:00

Two very important things are ending in my life, and, in a few months, something big is beginning. Lately it's been easier to ignore the beginnings and dwell on the endings.

But, as with most of life, endings are something I just have to get used to. Eventually, I must learn to face change. Because even something that I love so much and wish I could continue forever must end, and even someone I love so much and wish I could hold onto forever must die.

The bittersweet part is that, often, those endings are absolutely necessary to make room for the beginnings.

This is why only trust in God can keep me from tearing my hair out or crying until tears no longer come. If I worry over the scary new beginnings and the bittersweet endings, I'll miss every wonderful moment in between the two. And that's a lot like reading the first page of a book and then skipping to the last, missing the good parts in between and wasting something that is beautifully written and uniquely special.

"All stories, even the ones we love, must eventually come to an end,

and when they do, it's only an opportunity for another story to begin."

(Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium)

Eve's Desire

2011-03-15T16:26:00.000-05:00

This could get a little messy, but go with me for a moment.

In the first few chapters of Genesis, after God created the earth and Adam and Eve are living in the Garden, something huge happens. Adam and Eve disobey God by eating an apple off of a tree in the middle of the garden and believing Satan's lies.

Needless to say, God wasn't pleased by their behavior. After cursing the serpent and proclaiming that one day Jesus would come (Genesis 3:15), He turns to Eve.

"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children.
Your desire will be for your husband,
and he will rule over you." (Genesis 3:16)

Hopefully the meaning of these verses doesn't escape you. So now Eve will be in a lot of pain when she has children (thank you, Eve, that gives me something fun to look forward to), but her husband will also rule over her. Yes, I know that last part is a bit controversial in today's age, but I don't want to focus on that now.

What I want to discuss is this key phrase: "Your desire will be for your husband."

What does that exactly mean? After previously reading this verse I assumed it meant just what it says, but lately I've been pondering some additional options. I've noticed in the past couple of years that I like to read romance novels, watch "chick flicks," and daydream about my (possible) future wedding. (Did you know there is an entire reality TV show where women shop for wedding dresses? And why do women find that interesting to watch? Any guesses? But I digress.) There have been times when I've just had to pray that God would take away my desire for a special someone because it flooded my mind so often.

Girls generally get into trouble with emotions, especially where romance is concerned. It is all too easy to assume things. For instance, it's easy to think that "he must be so in love with me to show up at the same place, same time every day." Maybe so, but realizing that you're both required to be in English class sort of puts that statement into perspective. Likewise, scribbling your name and his name on every piece of paper available is overdoing it a bit; it is allowing your imagination to run wild, and, more often than not, that turns into a big problem.

All of this has led me to a question: Where do girls get this stuff from? Obviously God created male and female, so there is something to it, and society does play a role in it as well. But, seriously, do we need all of this baggage simply to grasp the concept of marriage and procreation?

Does this statement by God, "Your desire will be for your husband," have anything to do with it? I wonder if it might. It was a curse, telling Eve and all future women that their eyes would not only be for their Lord God, but for earthly men who, though necessary to the function and continuation of life, cannot compare. Perhaps, that a relationship with God would no longer be a walk in the garden, so to speak, because it would be even more difficult to focus all thoughts on God and not on guys.

Could there be something to what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:34?

"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."

These are just some thoughts, and of course I'm not against love or marriage; I quite look forward to it. However, this does teach me more about my own heart and mind, and it also encourages me to continue to pursue God solely while I am unmarried and while I am only "concerned about the Lord's affairs."

What is my desire? Where do my thoughts really lie? These are two important questions to think on.

Tick-Tock

2011-03-14T09:06:00.000-05:00

You know the story of David, right? (See his story in 1 and 2 Samuel.) He was a young, handsome man when Samuel came to anoint him king. The only problem was that Saul was currently king, and David would have to wait to take his place. This isn't a much thought of aspect of David's story. Somehow we simply register the anointing, killing of Goliath, and taking over after Saul, but we miss that David had to wait to become king. Some say he waited at least seven years and possibly more from the time of his anointing to the time of his official kingship.

Can you even imagine being approached, the youngest of your family, about being king? You're called from work, you're sweaty and gross, and now you're in front of some serious looking dude who wants to make you king of the nation. What?! Sure, that sounds pretty nice, and the whole idea is starting to sink in a bit. Now you're ready to see your palace, order your minions to bring you the finest chocolates (okay, that's my idea of being a ruler), and rule the kingdom. But then you remember something . . . there's already a king, and his name is Saul. So how is this supposed to work?

I can only think that David didn't know how long he would have to wait to be king. I can only imagine the sleepless nights filled with excitement, worry, and exasperation. I wonder if he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom and cried out, "God, have you forgotten me? Don't you remember when Samuel anointed me with oil and told me that I would be the next king? When is that going to happen? How much longer do I have to wait?"
The thing about David's situation is that I can identify. In those horrific scenarios where all I can hear is the tick-tocking of the clock, I wonder if God has forgotten me too, and I wonder how long I'll have to wait.

It's hard to wait for God's timing and God's plan. It isn't like I'm waiting to be queen or anything, but I'm waiting for plenty of other things. My future looks to me like a blank page ready to be filled. But will I let God write on it, or will I grab the pen and start scribbling? I wonder if David ever felt like getting some of his buddies together and charging into Saul's palace to demand the throne.

There is more to consider about David's waiting. He did wait at least semi-patiently until the time came for him to be king (and then he ruled for some forty years, by the way). He played the harp for Saul, who was tormented by an evil spirit (1 Samuel 16). He was braver than any other soldier when he fought Goliath (1 Samuel 17). He even refused to kill Saul, though the King had been hunting him and planning his destruction (1 Samuel 24). Finally, after Saul's death, David became king (2 Samuel 2).

I like knowing that while David waited he didn't simply pace up and down the hallway. He trusted God and he allowed God to grow him and change him so that he would become a better man and therefore a better king.

True, the story of David is an old one, and often one that we have heard over and over since we started Sunday School. But David's story, one of patience, bravery, redemption, and trust, teaches me still. And at this time in my life, his story tells me something important: don't let a bit of waiting keep you from trusting God and growing. Who knows, you could be king someday.

Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him... (Psalm 37:7)

This Thing Called Patience

2011-02-23T09:07:00.000-06:00

God gives us the strength to be patient. Psalm 27:14 (NLT) says, “Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.” I am confident that God will not ignore our patience as we wait for His timing and direction.

Read more at Real Teen Faith...

Quit Whining Already!

2011-02-17T09:20:00.001-06:00

In Genesis 14, the Israelites begin Act I of a play called Tips for Whiners of All Ages. The prequel, you could say, actually begins when the Israelites are still enslaved in Egypt. They tell Moses that he should just leave them alone, because he is making their labor worse, not easier. But God and Moses persist until Pharaoh lets the people go, and over 600,000 (that is just the men, excluding women and children!) flee their bonds and shackles.

Everything is going pretty well, until they see Pharaoh's chariots and horses in the distance, heading for them. The Israelites take their eyes off of God momentarily, as they will do many times throughout their journey.

They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!"

~ Exodus 14:11-12 NIV

How dramatic! Had they suddenly forgotten that God had delivered them from Egypt? Had it completely left their minds that God had heard their cries in Egypt and answered them? Apparently, it had. They allowed fear to overtake them, and they took their eyes from their loving Savior.

Moses' response is perfect. He is fed up with these Israelites, and at times I wonder if he wished God had just let Pharaoh keep them. He says in verse 14, "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still" (NIV). The New American Standard Bible says, "The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent." The Message's paraphrase made me laugh: "God will fight the battle for you. And you? You keep your mouths shut!"

What a thing to say to put the Israelites in their places! God delivers them yet again by dividing the Red Sea through Moses and allowing the Israelites enough time to scurry across the dry ground. Can you even imagine suddenly seeing the Red Sea part and a path form with walls of sea on both sides? I imagine some of the Israelites felt a bit remorseful after that.

The thing about the Israelites story that I love, though they annoy me again and again with their whining, is that they mirror us. How many times have I nearly been hysteric over something and taken my eyes off of God? How many times have I asked God why He didn't just leave me alone in the first place, because I'm no good anyway? How many times have I needed Moses to tell me to keep my mouth shut, because the Lord would fight for me?

I can't even count how many times!

Fear comes, terror strikes, but God will fight for you and for me. Often, He only needs us to keep our mouths shut and step out of the way for Him to do so. It is encouraging to know that we aren't alone; God is right beside us.

"And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him..." (Exodus 14:31 NIV).

Scrupulous Scribbles

2011-02-16T09:35:00.000-06:00

I decided to do a little blog changing today. I have felt a bit confined to the Transformed Generation title, like all I could post was words of wisdom and inspiration about the Christian teen's life.

I want to write about more. I want to write about everyday things, and maybe leave some posts that don't give a definitive answer for how to deal with something or how to understand something. I want this blog to be more like my journal, so readers can see what I'm really like.

I've felt a little too wise lately, like maybe I hold myself a little higher than others because I understand some things better. (Notice: I said some things.) I want to be real here. I'm not a perfect person at all. I struggle with many things, and everyday I have to look to God to get me out of the muck and mire of my mess-ups and breakdowns.

The URL will stay the same; I didn't want to go into the whole redirecting business. But the title, Scrupulous Scribbles (which my dear sister helped me out with!) describes me perfectly. Scrupulous, as the header says, means to be precise, but scribbles means hasty, often illegible writing. It's an oxymoron. It's one thing and its opposite. It is straight and specific; it is hasty and crude. That's pretty much me in two words!

So here's to a new chapter in this blogger's life. May it be filled with many scrupulous scribbles!

Hello, Wrecking Ball

2011-02-12T17:15:00.001-06:00

This Saturday my family used our time to clean our house and complete some odd-jobs that had been piling up. It was amazing to look around and wonder how things got so out of hand. I honestly didn't think we were hoarders until this cleaning experience. Of course, every member in my family has been busy these past few months with work and school. After several weeks of ignoring the little messes, big messes appeared.

You have probably figured out by now that I'm not just going to bore you with organizational details, right? See, I realized something while going through endless stacks of -- dare I say -- junk. If we ignore the tiny, seemingly unimportant issues in our lives and in our hearts, we will eventually be stuck with a huge, yucky mess.

I can see how this has affected me in the past. I used to be really caught up in television series. For a while, plenty of new dramas were premiering and I was stuck on several of them. I would sit for hours in the evening watching mindless shows that had nothing to offer my relationship with Christ except a big warning side that said BEWARE OF STUPIDITY. I condoned my behavior by passing it off as "just TV" and reminding myself that I needed to relax after a long day.

Eventually, however, I began to get upset whenever I couldn't see one week's episode. That's when I realized that TV wasn't "just TV" anymore.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 NIV (emphasis mine) says:

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

For me, TV was a stronghold, a giant wall between me and Christ, my family, and my intelligence. I was in desperate need of a wrecking ball. Those little compromises I had made each week -- each brick I stacked -- turned into a stronghold. It was very difficult to break down, but God gave me the will power to do so.

I still look back on that time and others and wonder how much easier it would have been if I had stopped compromising sooner. There wouldn't have been such a giant wall of bricks, and I wouldn't have had such emotional turmoil over the entire thing.

But there is something hopeful about this, too. The fact that God will help me to demolish my strongholds, no matter how high they are, is an incredible thought.

And He doesn't even care how many Saturdays it takes.

Flowers Fall

2011-02-08T14:54:00.005-06:00

"The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever.”

~ Isaiah 40:8

It seems that not many people -- not many Christians -- are really interested in reading the Bible anymore. They may hear a few verses in a sermon, or read a passage in a devotional book, but the word study is used pretty loosely. Bible studies are actually book studies -- a weekly meeting to discuss some author's ideas of what the Bible means. Instead of looking for answers directly from the Bible, they often look to someone else who they think has already done the looking.

It's just easier that way.

Even now, Bibles have been converted to "more accessible" language so readers don't have to think much. (Grammar rules have even been broken in the 2010 edition of the NIV.) Children's and teen's Bibles have turned into illustrated magazines with plenty of commentary and quizzes so readers don't get bored.

In an age when 3-D movies, smart phones, and Wii consoles are increasing in popularity, people just aren't interested in ordinary black and white.

I worry that Christians are becoming so distanced from the Bible itself that they no longer have a firm grasp on what they claim to believe in. Sure, they once prayed a prayer, admitting their sins and asking Jesus into their hearts, but that is only a fraction of the entirety of salvation. There is a bigger picture.

The entire Bible encompasses the Beginning to the End. It's a history book, a guidebook, and an accurate future teller. It allows us a small peek at God's character, and it shares stories of real men and women who endured the same struggle to serve God in all things that we struggle with today. Yet so many pass it by, claiming it is boring and meant for different times.

If that's true, then why do I find so much inspiration and guidance in each page?

I can only imagine what would happen if lazy, lukewarm Christians studied their Bibles with new fervor, as though they had never even heard the name of God before. What could be learned in its pages? What resolutions would arise?

"The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

What Love Really Means

2011-02-02T11:37:00.001-06:00

I have listened to this song "What Love Really Means" by JJ Heller several times, and each time it stops me in whatever I'm doing and makes me think. (Watch the video or read the lyrics here.) The chorus gets me every time.

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
‘Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

This brings a burning question to my mind: do we even know how many people near us feel this way? I don't think we do. I think we get caught up in our own lives -- school, sports, music, church groups -- that we don't even realize when a friend is hurting, or that the boy in history class never talks to anyone, or that the girl who comes to church doesn't smile.

We ignore things, too. We stumble through Walmart check-out lines because we have things to do while not realizing that the girl behind the counter needs someone to talk to. We see homeless men and women with cardboard signs as we pull up to intersections, but we do nothing because it isn't our problem and they'll probably use our money for alcohol anyway.

But what if we changed our attitude? What if we specifically looked for the ones who are hurting, the ones who are, inside, screaming these lyrics? Even if we just make small talk or ask a person's name. Even if we remain silent and just pray.

Isn't that what love really means?

Rainbows, Sunshine and Prayer

2011-01-31T10:34:00.000-06:00

God's Beautiful Promise

Yesterday started out foggy at my house. The rain poured, and I stayed inside. It was one of those days when you just feel like curling up into a tiny ball under a warm blanket with a book and a flashlight, hiding away until the world turns sunny again.

My sister had to go to work yesterday evening, and a few minutes after she left she called me and told me to look outside because two rainbows had appeared. Well, I've seen rainbows before, of course, and, though they are "special" and all, they aren't that exciting. But I rushed outside anyway and literally gasped. Two perfectly shaped, perfectly colored rainbows stood right in front of me.

I could see the entire half-circle shapes of both of them, and, honestly, if the rain hadn't been driving sideways I might have hurried to see if there were pots o' gold at the ends of them. They were so big that I couldn't even get them both in their entirety together in a picture.

The other strange thing was that the sun was setting in plain view, while the rain poured sideways and the rainbows shone brightly. It was just beautiful.

Sometimes I just wonder at God's creation. Even at rainbows. Rainbows originated, of course, after the Flood. A rainbow was a sign of God's promise that He would never flood the entire earth again. They often show up when it rains, almost as if God is reminding us that the rain will soon end and the sun will return. When I looked up at those two rainbows, all I could think was that God must love us a lot to give us such a beautiful reminder.

I was reminded of something else yesterday, too. Lately I've been thinking over prayer and what it means to pray and what I should pray about. Often I don't have any words to say to God besides "thank you," "help me," and "help them." Sometimes I just sit in complete silence at my desk or on my bed, just waiting for some words to come. But then I read a verse in Romans that comforted me.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

-- Romans 8:26 NIV

Can you even imagine it? God, the Holy Spirit, prays for us even when we don't know what we should pray for. Even more then that, He intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. I've been trying since I read this verse yesterday, but I cannot even think of what a groan that words cannot express sounds like. It must be an awful sound, yet beautiful and giving, because the Spirit himself is interceding for us. It must be heart-wrenching and tear-jerking to hear the groans, yet comforting and safe.

God's love is truly amazing, isn't it?

He Has Overcome

2011-01-28T22:27:00.002-06:00

I read a sad news story today about a mother who shot and killed her two teenage children, a boy and a girl, for being "mouthy." First she killed her son while driving him to soccer practice, and then she went home to kill her daughter. The emotionally troubled woman previously wrote about her plan to "take care of" the two teenagers; her plan obviously succeeded. (Read the full story here.)

Often I find myself staring blankly at the sky -- or blankly at anything -- and wondering why God would allow such horrible things to happen. Even if those teenagers would have been the worst two in the world, they didn't deserve to have their lives taken away so gruesomely.

While thinking about this article, I was reminded of the words that Jesus spoke to his disciples:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33 NIV

Tonight I'm praying hard that this mother will open her eyes to God's amazing grace.

Giving as a Teenager

2011-01-16T13:14:00.003-06:00

As a teenager, in can be difficult to give money away. We hear about it all the time: tithing 10%, giving to those in need, spreading the blessings God has given us. But tithing and donating seem really difficult when we don't have jobs, or when we have very meager earnings. I mean, we're trying to save for important stuff like new video games, new books (hey, at least I am!), laptops, cell phones, cars, college, and exciting adventures! Do we really have to take 10% out of the Christmas money Grandma gave us? What about our allowance?

First of all, I need to address a couple of misconceptions. Number one, I don't get an allowance. Whew, got that out of the way. Number two, giving is something every Christian should do. Number three, giving does not necessarily mean giving money. Let me explain.

As Christians, we are called to spread the glory of God to all nations. We are to share the message of salvation with others, help others, and love others. We are to give. But giving doesn't just mean giving money. Though money is an extremely important tool in our society, sometimes we just don't have it. While I don't commend anyone for hoarding money for his own selfish pleasures while ignoring those who need it most, I fully understand the plight of many teenagers: an enormous lack of money.

I have a very small savings account, and I have a job that I work at on occasion (less than part-time). My money stash is very limited, and I do feel it is important to save for things that I will need in the future. I give 10% of every bit of money I make, and I usually give more than that because I frequently come across ministries and opportunities that God wants me to give to. But at the end of the day, I just don't have much money to give.

That's why I want to stress that donation does not need to equal money. There are other ways to donate.

First, you can donate stuff. How many clothes do you have in your closet (that either you or your parents bought you)? How much sports equipment have you acquired? How many books do you have? How many old toys do you have?

I'm guessing that you answered "a lot" to at least one of those questions.Well, do you need all those clothes? Are there things you aren't wearing anymore or have grown out of? Do you need all of that sports stuff that you never use? How many basketballs does one person need? Look at those books stacked on those shelves. You've read most of them. Will you ever read them again? Could someone else benefit from them? What about the toys you have that are packed away in boxes? You're too old for them, but they hold some sort of sentimental grip on you. Wouldn't a little kid be able to enjoy them more?

Just consider this. Ask around, and you will most likely be able to find places to donate these items to. There may even be needy people in your neighborhood or church who could use these things. Find a place and donate.

Second, you can donate time. I know, I know, time is also a difficult one. But, just think about this, if you will. Outside of school and homework, how much time do you have? You may say not very much, but how much of that time do you spend with friends? watching t.v.? playing video games? blogging? (oh yes, I just said that) doing nothing?

Could you donate an hour a week at a needy neighbor's house, a soup kitchen, a clothes closet, or your own home? One hour. Sixty minutes. You might miss one television episode, but I have a feeling that, if you keep it up, you won't regret it.

I'm not perfect at this yet. I'm just beginning to realize the importance of giving of myself to help others in need. But I want to make this new year a great year, one with no regrets, one filled with giving and loving.

I'm going to start with one hour. After that, only God knows.

Which will you choose?

2011-01-14T15:35:00.001-06:00

After reading a great post from the blog Letters From LoVizzle, I have been thinking about set-apartness.

What does it mean to be set apart? Dictionary.com says set apart means "to reserve for a particular purpose" or "to cause to be noticed; distinguish."

Being set apart for God is like being reserved for a purpose, and that purpose is to love and glorify God above all things and to love and take care of each other.

The verses in the sidebar of this blog tell believers and young people to "set an example" (1 Timothy 4:12), to "not conform" (Romans 12:2), and to "shine like stars" (Philippians 2:14-15).

I'm concerned that we just aren't doing this set apart thing very well.

Consider this: you come across a group of teenage girls. These young women were dressing in today's norm: tight shirts with low necklines, very tiny shorts, and pounds of make-up. They talk about the latest fashions, celebrities, boys, and popularity. They read fashion magazines, watch the latest flicks, and listen to the current music fads. They seem to be typical teenage girls.

Oh, but there is one thing about them. They all go to the same church youth group.

Now, I'm not going to assume that every person who goes to youth group is Christian (hey, I don't even go to a youth group). However, it may be reasonable to think that some, if not all, of these girls claim to be Christians. But compare them to the verses I posted above. It just doesn't add up.

We're told to be set apart from the world and to set Christ-like examples for believers and non-believers alike. So is a Christian teen girl who acts like every other teen girl set apart? Is she setting a Christ-like example? Is she not conforming? The answer is clear: no.

It doesn't matter if it is guy or girl either. Both hold this double standard.

If you could only hear my voice right now, you would realize that I am pleading. I am pleading with the young women who are tempting men because of the way they dress and act. I am pleading with young men who force young women to settle for second best. I am pleading with my generation, most of whom seem to care more about clothes and social status and dating than a relationship with Christ.

This double standard is wrong. Either leave this world behind or stick with it. But you can't choose both. You can't have the world and still have Jesus. Jesus deserves all of you. Don't slap Him in the face by claiming to be a Christ follower yet following the world.

So what is your choice? What have you decided? Will you run to Jesus, who is waiting for you, ready to forgive your past regrets and mistakes, ready to carry you to the Father? Or will you run to the world, where money, social status, and appearance lord over you? Which will you choose?

I've chosen Jesus.

Don't Forget

2011-01-10T22:21:00.001-06:00

Christmas is over. The lights have been boxed up, the ornaments have been packed away. The trees have been dismantled (or cut up for firewood). The holiday season is over . . . or is it?

I caught myself singing a Christmas carol today. It reminded me that Christmas shouldn't fade from my mind. I thought I'd let you in on it, too. It seems like we celebrate Jesus' birth on Christmas Day and only on Christmas Day. And sometimes, even then, we tend to fit Jesus' birthday into our entertainment schedule, gift swapping, and indulgent meal.

Even though Christmas is over, celebrating Jesus' birth is not.

Remember...
He came,
He lived,
He died,
He rose.

He gave it all for you.

Merry Christmas!

Making a Difference...Now

2011-01-08T10:34:00.003-06:00

Maybe I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. I'm not sure. I just know that this topic has been on my mind for a while now, and I'm a bit worried that some Christian teenagers are missing it altogether. What I am about to say may seem a bit pointed or judgmental, so, as you read, remember that I am saying this to me as well. I'm not innocent either.

When was the last time you helped someone because you wanted to?

When was the last time you helped someone because you felt the need to do so out of the gratitude of your heart?

When was the last time you helped someone because you wanted to shine Christ in that person's life?

I have to be honest that this is not usually the case for me. I usually help someone because I was asked to help, told to help, or because I was guilt-stricken with the thought of not helping so I just gave in and helped. I probably ended up helping with a good attitude, but, more often than not, I held some deep-inside dread about the whole scenario.

Let's pause for a moment to clarify something. When I talk about helping someone I'm not referring to some kind of major act, like volunteering at a soup kitchen or mowing a neighbor's lawn or helping an elderly woman across the street. I'm referring to day to day activities, like unloading the dishwasher, walking the dog, feeding the cat, putting your clothes in the laundry basket so your mom doesn't have to, reading to your little brother, and not yelling at your sister about whose turn it is to clear the table. (I could continue.)

I am struck so heavily by the realization that we as young people can never hope to make a huge impact on society or the Christian community or our peers if we cannot make an impact in tiny, mundane, ordinary things. If we can't even help our mothers or fathers around the house, how can we help the hungry, the sick, or the poor?

Only by learning to do the hopelessly ordinary tasks with an attitude that oozes God's love and kindness can we then move on to bigger, more widespread influences. Here's a thought: maybe home is the place that needs the most love and encouragement.

Start small. Clear the table before you're asked. Help your sibling with something before he or she begs you for the fifteenth time.

Then grow. Open the door for someone out of pure politeness. Pick up a piece of trash on the sidewalk and throw it away.

After that, just keep growing.

An Important Resolution

2011-01-02T11:25:00.001-06:00

I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the Lord. (Psalm 31:6)

2011 is here. For some, the word "finally" can be inserted before "here." For others, the word "already" can be used. I'm more on the latter side of that. I can't believe a new year is upon us, and the things 2011 will hold are frighteningly sweet.

This first Sunday in 2011, I was reminded in a sermon and in my own time with God about a very important New Year's Resolution. Trust God. Don't let this year be filled with your own plans, dreams, wants, and wishes, but let God handle these days of your life. Let Him plan them out. After all, He knows best.

In the Bible, Sarah, wife of Abraham, struggled with trusting God. (You can find her story in Genesis.) First, she mourned the fact that she hadn't been able to give Abraham a son, or any children, for that matter. Instead of trusting God to provide, she took matters into her own hands. She gave her servant Hagar to her husband in the hopes that another generation could be born. Well, it worked. Hagar had a son named Ishmael, and things seemed perfectly fine.

Things seemed fine, perhaps, until a few visitors showed up to tell Abraham that Sarah would give birth to a son. Well, Sarah just couldn't believe it was possible, so she laughed. She laughed right there in her home at God's plan. She was frightened, amazed, and shocked by the thought that she could have a child in her old age. She thought she had taken care of that business when she devised the use of her servant.

God was right, as usual. Sarah gave birth to a son named Isaac. But now that she had given Abraham a son, Sarah didn't see any good reason to keep Hagar and Ishmael around. So she sent them away. Sarah thought that, with them gone, her son, Isaac, would have firstborn privileges. Well, she may have thought, Isaac is our real son anyway.

But, unbeknownst to Sarah, God comforted Hagar by making Ishmael into a great nation. See, God's plans were bigger than Sarah's all along.

Planning isn't a bad thing. I'm sure God wants us to use the brains He has given us. But if we fail to trust God, we can end up just like Sarah, selfish and confused. Every plan of her's seemed to fail, every conspiracy faltered. God is bigger than us; He has bigger plans.

If Sarah would have trusted God, perhaps things would have turned out differently. I can only wonder what her life would have looked like if she lovingly obeyed and trusted God. We'll never know, though. But we can choose now to trust God, for this year of our life and for all the others. God will guide us and lead us, and, instead of selfishly conspiring against others, we can live a joyous, blessed, powered year for Christ.

My New Year's Resolution? Trust God.

God Doesn't Disappoint

2010-12-29T15:48:00.002-06:00

I've been reminded lately about how easy it is for others to disappoint us. They may not realize it, but some action, some word, some behavior has caused us to feel let down.

God does not disappoint us.

"Then you will know that I am the Lord;

those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

Isaiah 49:23b

God has not disappointed me. I think now of the time that Jesus Christ came to earth as a tiny baby--a speck in the world. He gave it all up--His power, heaven--for you and me. He gave it up, even to the day that he stretched His bleeding body on a tree and took the burden of our sins on His very shoulders.

And in that moment, when He cried, "It is finished," He drank the cup He had prayed to be rid of. The pain, the sorrow, the distress . . . all of it culminated at Calvary. His determination and dependence on God carried Him through. His love for us never ended.

He did not disappoint.

Christmas, Christmas Time Is Here

2010-12-19T17:38:00.001-06:00

You know, I used to look forward to Christmas because of the presents, food, and play-all-day mentality. Of course I grew up (a little) and now pretending to be a pirate on my bunk bed (which acted as my ship--and this was all before Pirates of the Caribbean) isn't as exciting (I don't even have the bunk bed anymore).

This year, presents are an added benefit, not the main event, and food . . . well, food is still important. But this Christmas I feel more excited about the reason for the season, as people say. I feel more joyful because, instead of expecting the toy I always wanted, or--bringing it up to date--the book I've drooled over, I can only think about my dear Savior coming to earth as a baby, innocent and sweet.

I'm still amazed that Jesus would give up everything for a time to come here to save me. Puh-leese, I'm not that special. It's just interesting that the King of all of the universe willingly came here to save some snotty, rotten, selfish, unwholesome people. (I'm included in that list.) What would make Someone do such a thing?

I guess it must be love.

John 3:16; 1 John 3:16; Philippians 2:5-11

journal entry

2010-12-13T09:32:00.001-06:00

December 13, 2010
Monday
7:45 a.m.

I'm so disappointed . . . in myself, in other people. But never in You. I don't understand why I constantly return to Satan's evil ways, to screaming, to rage, to blurting evil words that have no place in my heart or mind. How can I be done with those forever? What about that section of Romans?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. . . . What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God -- through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:15; 24-25a NIV)

Rescue me, Jesus, for, left alone, I will despair in evil. I am so weak; I realize it more and more. You say, "'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness'" (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV). Oh, I am weak.

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10)

I'm nothing but the speck of dust on the bottom of a shoe. I am the forgotten penny lying rusty on cold pavement. The budding flower that no one views or cherishes. What am I? Nothing of worth without You. I am weak.

Yet, "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians 1:8).

And, "God . . . is faithful" (1 Corinthians 1:9).

I love you, Lord.

Book Review: Under the Overpass, Updated and Expanded Edition

2010-12-11T10:42:00.000-06:00

I have another blog where I post book reviews, and I often review books that feature inspiring testimonies. Recently I read the new, updated version of Under the Overpass.

I can remember hearing some about Mike and Sam's journey when it occurred in 2005, but I had never bothered to learn more. The story is pretty amazing.

It started with an idea and turned into a major adventure. Mike and Sam planned to spend a month living on the streets of five American cities: Denver; Washington, D.C.; Portland; San Francisco; Phoenix; and San Diego. The reason? To find out what it would be like to be homeless in America . . . read more

listening to God

2010-12-02T09:15:00.001-06:00

I like to journal when I read my Bible; just to talk to God and share my feelings about life. Sort of like this

blog, but less organized and more personal. But, honestly, lately I haven't felt like journaling. I read my Bible, look at a blank page, and just hmmm for a while. I was feeling sort of bad about this, because I didn't really know what to say to God besides the usual hello, God, thank you for this day, and that sort of thing. Basically, I just didn't have anything deep to say.

Well, this led me to a discovery.

I talk a lot. No, that is not my discovery. The point is that I can yak and yak if I really want to. I talk a lot when I'm with God. When I'm sitting on my bed with an open Bible, I can talk continually. He doesn't get a word in, really. My discovery? Maybe not talking is a good thing where I'm at right now.

Because when you aren't talking, you're most often listening.

Anyway, I think listening is something that I need to work on. Listening to God, especially. It's okay if you don't know what to say to God. Just listen to what He has to say to you.

I've been quite touched by the words of peace He's whispered to me.

a piece of raw meat

2010-11-17T17:28:00.000-06:00

Found through Google Images

Beware: a curious and perhaps silly analogy follows. Tonight, as I prepared a raw chicken for roasting, I realized how chicken-like we humans are.

I must say that I have no desire to touch a whole, raw chicken ever again. Of course I will, because I love a succulent bit of roasted chicken, but touching the raw state is rather sickening.

First, when you hold a raw chicken you begin to feel a little squeamish because you can feel the deadness of it. Suddenly images flash before the screen of your mind, in which happy chickens--with feathers intact--cluck around a hen house. Then you glance at the chicken you are holding and realize that it has been beheaded and plucked clean. Ew.

Next, the squishiness of it is just too much to bear. You can feel the bones poking through, hard and sharp. You don't even want to think about the empty cavity inside of it.

The thing about raw chicken is that, once cooked, it is absolutely wonderful. Roasted chicken, especially. The natural juices (you don't ever think about juices when you are holding a raw chicken) and the succulent meat make for a delicious meal. And everyone likes it. I haven't met a single person who didn't like chicken. True, some prefer dark meat and some prefer white, but I have never known anyone to say that they just didn't like chicken.

So how does a chicken compare to us? Consider for a moment. When we're young and think we know everything there is to know about everything, we tend to get a bit full of ourselves. We're like a raw chicken. We're bony, squishy, and just undesirable. No one wants to touch us. Most think that if they are around us they'll catch a disease. We smell funny and we look funny (not in the humorous way).

But then God takes us. The Master Chef braves all apparent grossness and dives in, rinsing us, rubbing herb butter on us, and flavoring us. Why? Because He knows. He knows that soon, after He is done with us, we will be beautiful, amazing even. He tenderly mixes the spices, sprinkles us, and watches us carefully. And if He does it right, as He always does, we will come out amazingly. Juices will be pouring from us, spreading the goodness of His work. People will like us, and will want to be with us, because we are good and lovely. No raw part will be left, because the Master Chef will take care of us, turning us into a beautiful, delicious masterpiece.

Maybe raw chickens aren't that bad after all.

every thought captive

2010-11-13T19:39:00.000-06:00

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

I often think that thoughts are the deciding factors in our lives. They have the power to make us or break us. No, I don't agree with the idea that "positive thinking" will make your life perfect, your bank account larger, or your relationships stronger. But, in essence, our thought life is what can keep us walking straight or throw us off the path.

When you really think (no pun intended) about how many thoughts go through your mind in one day; it's mind-boggling! In my case, I can't seem to stop thinking. I'm doing something, which triggers a thought about something else, which triggers a thought about something else . . . the cycle never ends. Most often, I lay awake at night, praying that my thoughts will just go away for a few minutes so I can get some sleep!

Each time I stop to think about God's design of the human mind . . . I can't contain my joy and excitement. Perhaps it is just because I'm a person who loves anatomy and physiology and hopes to be a nurse someday. I am amazed that God made us so intelligent and amazing!

This is why thoughts can make or break us. This is why that verse up there, 2 Corinthians 10:5, is so important. If we don't take every thought captive and make each obedient to Christ, we can easily find ourselves stumbling around, looking for a straight path.

So often a thought seems like our own little secret. So often we forget that Jesus Christ knows our every thought. We must make our thoughts obedient to Him; we must surrender our little "secrets" to Christ, so that we can live pure lives, wholly surrendered to God.

Dear Lord,

I'm taking every thought captive right now and making each thought obedient to you. I don't want to fill my mind with trash, pornography, lust, or impurity. I don't want to plan revenge on my neighbor, my sister, or my friend. I don't want to dwell on anything that does not glorify You. Make my thoughts wholly Yours and entirely holy. Let me only think on the things that are important to You.

Amen

here i am, send me

2010-11-02T17:54:00.000-05:00

Here am I, send me; send me to the ends of the earth; send me to the rough, the savage pagans of the wilderness; send me from all that is called comfort on earth; send me even to death itself, if it be but in Thy service and to promote Thy kingdom.

David Brainard (1718-1747)

Oh, if only we "teenagers" could be more like this young man. David Brainard, according to On This Day in Christian History by Robert J. Morgan, devoted his life to teaching the Indians of Colonial America about Jesus Christ. He died at the age of 29. Some might say that it was a different age, just a past era when young people were more productive and thoughtful. But what about us? Is the time really that different? Have people suddenly stopped needing Christ?

Here am I, my dear Savior, send me.

meditate on mondays (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

2010-11-01T07:50:00.000-05:00

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10

the choice

2010-10-31T12:37:00.001-05:00

found through Google Images

Perhaps you have noticed the shift in thinking. What was once considered evil and wrong is now looked upon as normal and right. Sameness and normalcy is sought after and strived for as if nothing else matters. The teenager who wears the wrong clothes, says the wrong things, or is in any way different is outcast and ridiculed. Sometimes the abuse is not verbal or viewably hateful. Most often, there is just a bit of a change in a friendship, a slow sort of movement, like mud seeping into the cracks of a sidewalk.

A friend notices the change as you begin to talk about how you are reconsidering your movie choices, or as you begin dress modestly, or as you begin to speak more kindly. Then the real shift begins. The calls are less wordy as you both begin to realize that the commonality between you is dwindling. You explain your new beliefs to your friend, but it doesn't seem to come out right or something, because your Christian friend isn't agreeing whole-heartedly.

"Yeah, I've thought that the movies we see probably aren't the greatest," your friend mumbles after you have poured out your soul on the subject.

But nothing changes.

Seeing your friend isn't as exciting because your friend does not share the same passion for Christ that you do. The cracks in the surface of your friendship grow wider, deeper. You hold on until you realize that your friend has completely let go. You are now the one making all of the moves, sending all of the invitations, and writing all of the messages.

But maybe it isn't worth it, you think. This friend isn't that great of an influence anyway. You must keep trying though. You must continue loving and reaching, because one day that friend might change. That friend might make a decision to live recklessly abandoned for Christ like you did.

As the doubts sink in, you realize that you are on your own with this one. Not everyone who claims Christianity wants to live like Jesus. Not everyone wants to live differently. The fact is, the friendship you once had will never be the same unless your friend accepts the plan Jesus offers. You've made a decision, a choice, that affects your entire life.

You've decided to live like Jesus.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. ~ Galations 2:20

saying goodbye to bitterness

2010-10-25T09:23:00.000-05:00

Maybe this story seems silly to you, and that’s okay.

But I think this story shows that everyone, you and me, has different stories to tell.

Likewise, we have different stories of forgiveness.

My story is just about a puppy, but, for me, it is so much more.

And really it doesn’t matter how or when you chose to forgive someone.

The important thing is that you do forgive....

Read the entire post at Real Teen Faith.

meditate on mondays {psalm 62:5}

2010-10-25T09:13:00.000-05:00

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.

teenagers: two kinds

2010-10-20T18:08:00.000-05:00

I have decided to begin a series of posts about teenagers and how stereotypes can affect our lives. Let me throw out a disclaimer first. Most of what I write is my opinion, though a lot is from accumulated reading, and quite a bit is from the Bible. Even so, please don't have a fit about what I write. If you don't like it, the go ahead and be disagreeable. All I'm trying to warn you of is this: take everything I say with a grain of salt. Actually, you should do that no matter who you are listening to.

I'm not going to assume that you agree with me. I have discovered that in the Christian circle (though it can be other shapes) there are two types of teenagers. There are the ones who call themselves Christians, but choose to take a laid-back approach to the Bible and its teachings, "build relationships" with non-Christians, and keep up with the culture's preferences. Then there are the teenagers who call themselves Christians, but choose to soak up the Word, live by it, and throw everything else aside. Let's go deeper into these two realms.

The laid-back, "builder of relationships," popular teenager seems to think that Christianity is a game. He (or she) goes to church with his family, attends youth group functions regularly, reads a daily, five-minute devotional, wears Christian tee shirts, and basically looks like the typical Christian teenager. He tends to focus a lot on building relationships with non-Christians in the hopes of drawing them to Christ. Unfortuately, it is easy to confuse him with the non-Christian friends he hangs around with because he watches the same movies, listens to the same music, reads the same books, talks behind his parents' backs, makes fun of the dorks at school, and wears the same clothes. You couldn't pick him out as "the Christian" in a line-up.

In my opinion, these types of teenagers are all too common.

The spongy, set-apart, go-it-alone-if-I-have-to teenager is one who looks for the Truth in every situation. If he (or she) can't find it, he moves on to something else. He realizes that reading his Bible is not a chore, but an important part of his relationship with Jesus Christ. He understands the importance of reaching others for Christ, but he also realizes his own limitations and shortcomings when it comes to spending time with non-Christians. His mission is to live wholly for Christ, even if that means he has few friends. He doesn't look much like the other teenagers; he watches different movies, listens to different music, reads different books, appreciates his parents, is kind to the unpopular, and even wears different clothes. You can tell he is different.

This type of teenager is not common enough.

I'm not going to lie. The second type of teenager I described is not in any way perfect. Neither is the first teenager group. In the beginning, both are messed up and searching for something to fill their voids. The difference is that the second group has found the Truth. The first group says they've found it, but they live like they're still searching.

In my next post I'll talk some about expectations, though the best resource for that subject is found in the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris.

true surrender

2010-10-17T10:45:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I wrote a blog post about surrender, but then I realized that I am not completely applying it to my life. So I left the computer and considered my own ways. I discovered some interesting things.

I have always thought of becoming a Christian as surrendering. When I became a Christian, I surrendered my will, my dreams, my heart, my soul, my life, everything. Or, at least I thought I surrendered everything. I've realized lately that I'm still holding on to some things that I need to let go. I've wrapped my arms around stuff that God needs to control.

I'm going to be really open here. I believe my biggest struggle is something that can be summed up in one word: toothpaste. Confused, maybe? Well, my struggle is blurting words that have no good use, of squeezing the toothpaste and not being able to jab it back in the tube. I don't think before I speak, and this has become a habit. I'll hear something and I'll say whatever comes to my mind, or, if anything, I'll "say" it in my thoughts. When my sister and I come to some sort of disagreement, I'll raise my voice and say completely wrong, hurtful things.

After one such episode a couple of days ago, I considered my ways and what it means to surrender, and I realized that I have not surrendered my tongue. Oh, I have read verse after verse about speaking kindly, and I have hoped that my tongue wouldn't make me stumble. Time and time again, however, I slipped up and let my tongue take control. Actually, I let the devil take control. What do I expect when I haven't surrendered my tongue to Jesus Christ?

For some reason I have held on to my tongue because I felt like I could control it myself. But that is completely preposterous, because I know from experience that me and control don't get along. Everything I try to control seems to fall apart, so it makes perfect sense that I must let Christ control this part of my life.

That's what Jesus wants, isn't it? He wants us to trust Him completely, to surrender every part of our lives to Him, to hold nothing back.

Yesterday morning I made a choice to surrender. I gave up my tongue and the misery it has caused me. Honestly, I didn't miss "controlling" it at all. I encourage you to look at your life and find out if there is something you are holding back from Christ. He wants all of you. It doesn't matter how many times you've messed up. He still loves you. He wants you to trust in Him completely. It is hard sometimes, I have to admit, but so very worth it.

Today's a new day. Surrender.

meditate on mondays (psalm 3:3-4)

2010-10-11T07:44:00.000-05:00

But you, God, shield me on all sides;

You ground my feet, you lift my head high;

With all my might I shout up to God,

His answers thunder from the holy mountain.

Psalm 3:3-4 (The Message)

i'm broken too

2010-10-09T17:47:00.001-05:00

Recently I have come to realize that I'm not as nice as I seem to be, or, at least, I am not as nice, or good, as I believe myself to be. This isn't meant to be confusing, but in a way it is a difficult and untidy subject to broach. It is difficult for me because it reveals my undeniable faults. It is untidy for me because it forms a truth that I must apply to my life. I will uncover that truth in a moment.

Before I do, however, I want to consider the wrongs (though this is only a minute amount) that I have committed almost unknowingly. I say "almost" because, though I knew the crime was wrong, I did not realize the things I was doing were the crime.

Now to the crime. The fault I speak of is simply (though not simple at all) self-righteousness. It is that age-old assumption that "I am better than you." Please understand that I am not referring to a self-righteousness in association with school work (I'm better at calculus than you are.) or appearance (I'm skinnier than you are.) or talent (I've played the violin with great accuracy since I was two.). I am mostly concerned with self-righteousness in close association with salvation. I will mention here that the others aren't any good either.

The problem, I believe, is that I reach a point in my Christian walk where I am at a peak, a high place. I feel as though I am finally figuring out what it means to be a Christian, to talk with God, and to live set-apart. In reality, I am only setting myself up for disaster. I am saying that I am understanding Christianity, I am talking with God like I should be, I am making choices to be in the world and not of the world. I get in a rhythm of me, me, me and forget God, God, God altogether. It's sad, really, because when I am at that point I am thinking in my head that I am so close to God at that moment, when I am actually cohabitating with me, myself, and I.

This is where self-righteousness comes in. I am so consumed with my abilities in the Christian walk that I now believe I am better than that woman over there who's sitting in the pew pretending to be "spiritual." I am now better than that man who thinks he is, in fact, God. I am better than that person who is stumbling around, trying to find satisfaction in earthly pleasures.

Now I'll reveal the truth: I am no better than they are. I have set myself up for failure. I have pumped and pumped my little self up until I'm at the point of bursting. I have considered myself righteous, even perfect, when I am just as broken like the woman in the pew, the man who thinks he is God, and the person who can't walk a straight line.

The unhappy part about self-righteousness is that it comes quickly, stealing my mind, stealing my heart. Self-righteousness is an evil thief, and we must learn to see it and stop it when it reaches us. Be ever aware that it is lurking, ready to take hold of you and infect you. Remind yourself that you are just as broken as the next guy.

Our abilities are useless. God is the one who has reached down His hand and scooped us up, one by one. God is the one who shows us His great mercy and grace and forgiveness. We can try, but we'll never make it on our own. We must surrender to the fact that God is the greatest, and we are the smallest.

I'm broken too.

what am i doing here?

2010-10-05T07:00:00.003-05:00

Found through Google

Have you ever just wondered, What am I doing here? I mean, have you ever felt like maybe you were in the wrong spot, or maybe you were headed towards the wrong place, or maybe you don't know where you are or where you should be going?

It's like you think you are doing what needs to be done, but you don't feel satisfied. Like you feel that this is where God wants you, but at the same time you would rather be somewhere else. Or, sometimes you think you're wasting time here, and that you need to go somewhere else to start making a difference.

Honestly, I'm not sure if any of that made sense to you. It's a jumbled mess in my head, really. But lately I've been feeling like this part of my life is not what I expected it to be. I'm a senior in high school, I'm at college part time, I have "the rest of my life ahead of me," as they say. But, at the same time I feel like I could be doing so much more if my circumstances were different. If I didn't have so much homework piled on my desk. If I didn't feel so weary when I crawl in bed at night.

Part of me, most of me, wants to drop everything and run to the nearest orphanage and care for the children there. Most of me wants to leave this behind and go to Africa as a missionary.

There are so many things that I want to do, but I know that now is not the time. In my head I realize that God has a plan for my life, and it may or may not include orphanages and Africa. I know that this is where I should be, finishing high school and getting a good footing for whatever it is that I'll be doing in the future. I also know that I can make a difference here, in my home and at school.

But, I have a hard time getting my heart to understand. There are so many things that I feel passionate about, that I just want to go out and do. It's hard to keep that under wraps and wait for the right time. It's hard to save that up, not knowing if I will ever get to fulfill those dreams.

I suppose it is a good thing that Jesus never said we would have an easy time trusting Him and waiting. He said we would be persecuted, and I think that means more than just physical persecution or verbal persecution. We are persecuted daily by our own thoughts. We spend the most time with ourselves, creating schemes in our heads and whispering words into our own hearts. And sometimes it is persecution. Sometimes we block God out of our heads and listen to ourselves for hours. But we have to choose to let God in, to give Him our all, our minds. We have to change our thoughts to His thoughts.

I hope you understand what I am saying, because I have noticed that I'm not the only one with these feelings. Daily we must make the choice to stay put until He is ready, to pour our hearts into what we are doing now, even if it is not our ideal. We must trust the One who holds our futures in His hands.

"Wherever you are -- be all there." Jim Elliot

meditate on mondays (Isaiah 55:8-9)

2010-10-04T07:00:00.004-05:00

Found through Google Images

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,

neither are your ways my ways,"

declares the LORD.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth,

so are my ways higher than your ways

and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Isaiah 55:8-9

spotlight: voices of the innocent

2010-09-28T07:00:00.001-05:00

I have a great, great opportunity to tell you about today. Before you say "no" or "I'm not really interested," I would be so appreciative if you would take a moment to consider this and pray about this. I knew from the moment I read the idea that this is something I must do. I hope and pray that you will help out, too!

Voices of the Innocent (V.O.T.I.) was started by two Christian girls, Olivia and Emily, who want to make a difference. They realized that abortion is wrong and immoral. They realized that so many unborn children die each day. But they didn't stop with that knowledge. They decided to do something!

The mission is simple: on a specified day, 200 people (this is the current goal) will send out 200 letters to their local newspapers. These letters will be about the evils of abortion. These letters will be filled with the grace of God. The hope is that these letters will reach the newspaper offices at around the same time. The idea is that eventually, so many people will write letters that newspaper offices around the U.S. of A. will be overflowing with people's thoughts about the cruelty of abortion.

That's it. All you have to do is write one letter. Mail it. Pray.

I think V.O.T.I. can really be a powerful project. If you would like to join, please take a look at the official V.O.T.I. blog here. Most of all, please pray for this ministry and spread the word. The current date of sending is scheduled for February 14, 2011. Olivia and Emily would love to be able to get at least 200 people involved. If you choose to join, please email them at voicesoftheinnocent[at]gmail[dot]com to let them know.

I have long been wanting to do something to take a stand against abortion. I think this may be the perfect tool. Check it out.

meditate on mondays (ecclesiastes 7:14)

2010-09-27T07:00:00.002-05:00

Enjoy prosperity while you can,

but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God.

Remember that nothing is certain in this life.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 (NLT)

don't back down

2010-09-24T17:35:00.000-05:00

I didn't have anything ready to post at my usual time yesterday because I didn't feel like I had anything to say. However, life has brought me something to share with you. This is something important; it is something that relates to anyone who is a Christian and living in the world but not of the world.

I'm sure you have experienced it before. I have on multiple occasions. It happens whenever I have had an amazing few days/weeks/months with God. It happens when I feel like nothing can shake my relationship with my Savior, and it happens when I feel like God can change the world through me.

My sister says something that isn't even rude and I blow up at her. The time is ticking by so slowly and I get impatient and angry. I watch the news and feel depressed, wishing I could just leave this world now. At those times--those times of lashing-out, impatience, and depression--Satan is trying to push me off the track.

See, I think he knows. I think he knows that we are having a great time with God. I think he knows that we hate him with a vengeance. I think he knows that we are trying to get as far away from him as we can.

And he doesn't like it.

He tries so hard to get us to turn from God, and this is displayed in the fights that break-out between us and our siblings, the anger we show when we don't get our way, and the depression we feel when the world just seems all wrong. He wants you to give up. He wants you to throw in the towel and say, "I'm done! I've had it!" He wants you to stop fighting for the Truth. He wants you to stop loving God.

God, on the other hand, is telling you not to back down. Stand strong. This will soon be over and you will have earned your reward. God has already banished Satan to Hell. If we just keep standing, we will win and he will lose.

When those attacks come, you must fight them. When you feel like giving in to selfish desires, you must not back down. Here are a few things to remember when you feel like you can't stand against the devil any longer.

1. Flee from him and he will flee from you.

At the first sign of trouble, run! James tells us, "Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7).

2. He has already lost.

"And the devil, who deceived them, was thrown into the lake of burning sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet had been thrown. They will be tormented day and night for ever and ever" (Revelation 20:10).

3. If you stand strong, you will be rewarded.

David said, "The Lord rewards every man for his righteousness and faithfulness" (1 Samuel 26:23a).

"Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does..." (Ephesians 6:7-8)

God "rewards those who earnestly seek him" (Hebrews 11:6).

When Satan attacks, run to the arms of Christ and find refuge there. He will help you fight against the devil and come out victorious.

I, for one, want to stand strong knowing in my heart that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Timothy 4:7).

only a moment

2010-09-21T07:00:00.002-05:00

It takes only a moment for your world to be washed away.
It takes only a moment for your world to be burned away.
It takes only a moment for your world to be blown away.
Only a moment...
Only a drop...
Only a spark...
Only a breeze...

I realized a couple of days ago that in a single moment life as I know it can change.

In one solitary moment,
floods can remove houses,
fires can burn fields,
tornadoes can uproot trees.

What you have in this life--your clothes, your laptop, your iPod, your "treasures"--will disappear one day. Eventually, everything you own will be gone, nothing more than a few pieces of rubble.

It's humbling to consider that.

Think about losing everything you own, all of your possessions. For myself, I hope that I would be wise enough to realize that none of it really matters. But what if you were to lose your best friend, or your mom and dad, or your sister? What then?

I don't want to instill paranoia in you, but sometimes I think we live our lives in an ignorant fashion. All too often, we think we are invincible and inhuman. We think we can't be touched by loss, death, or disease. But when we think that, we are lying to ourselves. Bad things happen in this world. Turn on the news and you'll see it.

Don't think you're untouchable.
It only takes one moment.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,

where moth and rust destroy,

and where thieves break in and steal.

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven,

where moth and rust do not destroy,

and where thieves do not break in and steal.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

(Matthew 6:19-21)

meditate on mondays (zephaniah 3:17)

2010-09-20T07:00:00.003-05:00

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

deception

2010-09-16T07:00:00.001-05:00

"I lied to you.

I lied about my family and about my house and about myself....

Everything I told you is a lie."

Read the rest of the story,

here.

stand in awe

2010-09-14T07:00:00.007-05:00

I wonder how often you stop to look at Creation. No, not look at it, but marvel and wonder at it. This morning I realized that I have not been outside very much lately. Of course I have gone out of doors, but I haven't really been outside. I'm constantly going someplace. From the house to the car, from the parking lot to the store, from the street to the garage. But today I stopped and marvelled.

I'm blessed to live in a place where I can literally step out my door and view acres of land and woods. Some days I just go about my business and don't glance at the beautiful horizon of green and brown. Some days I forget. Most of us do it. We're busy with school and work, running around from place to place. But we don't realize the seriousness of our forgetfulness.

Have you ever stopped to ponder why God made earth so unspeakably beautiful? I love to watch shows on Discovery Channel and Animal Planet (as long as I can stay awake) to see the beauties of ocean life, the mysteries of the African plains, and the like. It makes me wonder why God chose to create a beautiful, mysterious, wonderful planet for us to live in.

Think about it. We are the ones living on earth, surrounded by animals, plants, and life. We are the ones who have the ability to enjoy it (or not to enjoy it). It seems as though God created this greatness for us. He has set up beauty and wonder for our enjoyment. That in itself is amazing to me, considering our sinful choices and mistake-ridden lives.

God could have just stuck us on a dark, misty planet and then told us to love Him with all of our hearts, souls, and minds and love our neighbors as ourselves. But He gave us more. He gave us vast blue oceans and rolling, green hills and puffy, white clouds. He gave us bushy, green trees and sandy desserts. He gave us all of Creation, so that in it we might see His power, His creativity, and His love.

You can't deny it, at least not for long. From the dessert winds to the salty sea, God has created a magnificent, awe-inspiring world for us to live in. Take a moment today or tomorrow to go outside and just breathe. Let your eyes fill with tears as you marvel in awestruck wonder at the horizon of beauty the Lord has created.

He made this for you.

Follow this link to watch an amazing video of God's Creation.

meditate on mondays (james 1:2-4)

2010-09-13T07:00:00.001-05:00

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

photo found through Google Images
- James 1:2-4

what i want to be when i grow up

2010-09-09T07:00:00.009-05:00

I have recently been thinking of an article that I read several months ago. It was in a magazine - I can't remember which one - and the author was wondering why we ask young children what they want to be when they grow up and expect them to answer "doctor," "engineer," "teacher," or the like. Why don't we expect answers like faithful, loving, truthful, and kind?

The article really made me think. Apparently enough that I still remember it today, though I can't remember where I read it from.

The thing is, that article is applicable to my own life, and it is applicable to most teenagers' lives. I'm a senior in high school and I'm headed towards graduation and then college. My life over the past few months has been wrapped up in future things, like taking the SAT and visiting colleges and trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life.

I've never once stopped wanting to be all that God wants me to be. But I have gotten swept up into earthly ideas of getting a degree and making money. I have forgotten at times that God cares more about my love for Him, my love for others, my faithfulness, my honesty, and my trust than the number of zeroes at the end of my paycheck (which, at the moment, is completely non-existent).

Maybe the next time someone asks me, "What are your future plans?" I will say, "I just want to serve Christ." I wonder if it would make that person think and perhaps realize that I'm not buying into the idea that life is all about making money and getting rich. I'm just a girl who is trying to live her life set-apart, cherishing the freedom she has through Christ.

Don't confuse what I'm saying here. I'm not saying that college is evil and making money is wrong. I'm not saying that making plans for the future is somehow going against God. All I am saying is that more of our brain power should be used to think about attributes that we want to have than job titles we want to secure.

In all honesty, my greatest goal goes far beyond my degree plan and my job title. My greatest goal is to be welcomed into eternity, hearing my Savior say, "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

what does it mean to love?

2010-09-07T07:45:00.000-05:00

What does it mean to love?

I have been asking God this question lately. I know that God wants me to love Him; I know what that means. I know that God wants me to love others; I pretty much understand that. I'm good at it sometimes. But, I'm having a tough time loving unconditionally and selflessly.

Jesus said,

"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27-28)

I can read that, but I have a really hard time comprehending it! I don't know that I've ever made a conscious choice to love someone who has hurt me. It isn't that I hated the person, but I definitely didn't scream from the rooftops, "I love that person who cut a gash in my heart!" Nope, that didn't happen.

What does it mean to go beyond the family-type love, the gushy love, and the brotherly love? What does it mean to love a person who hates you, to love a person who hurt you?

I'm reminded of the verses that so aptly explain love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

Every time I read these words I feel chilled, and partly discouraged. Does this seem like setting myself up for failure or what? I want to be this way.

It can't be done alone.

Believe me, I've tried. I've tried to be patient. I've tried to keep cool and not lose my temper. I've tried to erase the mistakes of those who have hurt me. It just isn't possible on my own, though. I can't get past my own feelings or my own selfishness. I'm only slowly learning to be loving now, and it is only because Christ is walking me through every step.

I'm still making mistakes. I still lose my temper and lash out. I still have moments of pride. But the point is, I'm learning. I'm learning to love others in this way, in Christ's way.

So what does it mean to love? I think it means to protect, to serve, to forgive, to take care of. I think it means to put aside the feelings of self and care for the feelings of another. Only then can you know and grasp what true love is like. Who does this description remind you of?

It reminds me of Christ Jesus, who abandoned self and took care of us by dying on a cross for our sins. He gave it all up - everything - so he could protect us, serve us, forgive us, and take care of us. That, my friend, is love.

Sitting here staring at my computer screen, I am in utter awe. I'm amazed that someone could love so much as that. I want that for me. I want to love like Jesus loved.

Wow. If I could only love half as much as He loves me.

meditate on mondays (micah 6:8)

2010-09-06T07:00:00.001-05:00

"And what does the Lord require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:8b (NIV)

i just want you to know

2010-09-03T22:49:00.000-05:00

I just want you to know that God loves you so much. Maybe you already know that. Maybe you've never been told. It doesn't really matter as long as you realize this now.

The God who created the entire world loves you. (Isaiah 40:28, Colossians 1:16)

The God who knows the number of the stars and calls them each by name loves you. (Psalm 147:4, Isaiah 40:26)

The God who is the beginning and the end loves you. (Revelation 22:13)

The God who knew you before you were born loves you. (Psalm 139:15-16)

The God who knows what you are about to say before you even say it loves you. (Psalm 139:4)

The God who sent His Son to die on a cross for your mistakes loves you. (John 3:16, Ephesians 2:4-5)

The God who casts your sins as far as the east is from the west loves you. (Psalm 103:11-12)

The God who wants you to have eternal life with Him loves you. (John 3:16)

The God who has great plans for you loves you. (Jeremiah 29:11)

No matter what you have done, no matter where you have been. God loves you like crazy! How awesome and wonderful is it that He, the One who spoke the world into existence, loves you? I can't wrap my head around it! I can't understand why Someone so perfect and so good would take the time to love someone like me. But that's just it.

He loves me anyway.

He loves me, knowing full well that I am a sinner, an imperfection, a smudge. That is why I choose to live my life and honor Christ each day. He sacrificed Himself so humbly for me. How can I not love Him in return? How can I not sing His praises? How can I not live transformed?

I am only here today because He loves me.

east to west

2010-09-01T13:30:00.002-05:00

Praise the LORD, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD, O my soul,

and forget not all his benefits -

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses,

his deeds to the people of Israel:

The LORD is compassionate and gracious,

slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse,

nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve

or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west,

so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children,

so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed,

he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass,

he flourishes like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone,

and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting

the LORD's love is with those who fear him,

and his righteousness with their children's children-

with those who keep his covenant

and remember to obey his precepts.

The LORD has established his throne in heaven,

and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the LORD, you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his bidding,

who obey his word.

Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,

you his servants who do his will.

Praise the LORD, all his works

everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD, O my soul."

Psalm 103

why?

2010-08-24T12:52:00.001-05:00

Today I'm feeling the question "Why?" welling up inside of me, like hot tears pushing against my eyes. I'm saddened, I'm upset, I'm angry. I want an answer, but I know all too well that the people in this story don't have a clue. Fingers are pointed in all directions. No one takes the blame. Honestly, I don't believe anyone is innocent here. I just want to know, "Why?"

I feel these words, "Why, O Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble" (Psalm 10:1)? My soul screams, "Arise, Lord! Lift up your hand, O God. Do not forget the helpless" (Psalm 10:12).

Isn't it interesting how many of the Psalms start in anguish and despair? David or another poet so often begin their prayers with screams of fear and bitterness. When I am angry or upset, I find my way to the Psalms and cry their words as my own. But there is something interesting about Psalms. I rarely read one that doesn't end on a peaceful note. No, maybe they don't end happily, but they always end with the writer putting his trust in God. That makes it harder to read though, because sometimes, secretly, I don't want to get to that part. I want to focus on the "Why?" and the "Where are you?"

Sometimes I just don't want to admit that God actually is right there, holding my hand and catching my tears. Because I feel like that means I'm accepting the situation. I feel like that means I'm letting go over the control I have (if any). I feel like I'm giving up, and giving up is just not me.

Take Psalm 10. Like the few verses I typed a moment ago, the first words of this Psalm are angry and bitter. They demand an answer, a reason. But it seems as though there is none. I have been sitting here, staring and my computer screen and reading Psalm 10. I've just gotten to verse 14 and honestly I don't want to read the next parts. But I know that if I let my anger, my fear, and my sadness get the best of me, then really it is all down hill from here. I need hope right now; I need faith. So I'll keep reading.

"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand. The victim commits himself to you; you are the helper of the fatherless" (Psalm 10:14). I'm trying so hard to accept these words, to grasp them and make them my own.

"The Lord is King forever and ever..." (Psalm 10:16). I believe that, I do. I know that God is sovereign, I know that he reigns. I know that he sees all and that he knows just how my heart is breaking.

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God" (Psalm 42:11). Yes, God is the only one who I can put my trust and hope in. He is the only one who can write the ending to this story. He does hear, he does listen. His plan will be fulfilled and I will trust him no matter the cost or the struggle.

He turns my "Why?" into "Hold me." He calms my fears and catches my tears. I will put my hope in him, because he is my Savior, my God.

Photo found through Google Images.

meditate on mondays

2010-08-23T08:55:00.000-05:00

I decided out of the blue this morning to come up with a weekly post where all I'll put is a Scripture(s) that has affected me recently. I read today's verses this morning, and it really stuck out to me.

"Come now, let us reason together,"
says the Lord.

"Though your sins are like scarlet,

they shall be as white as snow;

though they are red as crimson,

they shall be like wool.

If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the best from the land;
but if you resist and rebel,
you will be devoured by the sword."
For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 1:18-20 NIV, emphasis mine

Photo found through Google Images.

fight the good fight

2010-08-22T17:37:00.002-05:00

But godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6 NIV)

Today I came across this verse in a book I'm reading. (Side note: the book I'm currently enjoying is called Emotional Purity.) As usual, it was just what I needed.

I struggle, as I believe most human beings do, with contentment. Right now I'm facing a new and exciting year of school, but I know that in a couple of months I will be discontent with my circumstances. I will sit at my desk with a pile of work to do and sigh, thinking about the current chaos and the worrisome routine. It seems it happens so easily; one day I will be perfectly happy with my life and the next I will have just a small inkling of anger and discontentment in my heart. It can be about anything, the boring routine of my life or the clothes I'm wearing or the friends I have or the money I want but don't have. But 1 Timothy 6 sets me straight. Consider these verses:

For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. (1 Timothy 6:7-9 NIV, emphasis mine)

See, this is something we forget. We're living today in 2010. Will we even be here tomorrow? Possibly. What about 100 years from now? Will we even be remembered? I highly doubt it. David even wrote about this:

Show me, O Lord, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath. (Psalm 39:4-5 NIV, emphasis mine)

Considering the length of my life puts things into perspective for me. I realize that, though I do have a purpose here on earth, my life is just a teensy tiny speck in the history of the universe. Why should I waste my time in discontentment when I should live my life as fully as possible while I still have the time? I should use my life to run near to God and learn from Him. I should use my seemingly boring routine to grow in knowledge and to reach out to others who need Christ so badly.

But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called... (1 Timothy 6:11-12 NIV, emphasis mine)

I think we should all decide to delete discontentment from our vocabularies. Life is so short; we don't have time to feel sorry for ourselves.

Photo found through Google Images.

remember

2010-08-18T09:43:00.001-05:00

Today I'm making lists and piles. I have only barely started and the task looms large before my frightened eyes. School starts in one week and I'm trying to get ready for it. That is, I'm preparing myself for the long, tiring days and the very few hours of free time. Of course, most of what I'm planning to work on today should have been done over the previous summer months. But that just didn't happen and now I'm left to sort through clothes, desk items, and books. Oh well, I like organizing every once in a while.

I wonder why we sometimes have such a terrible case of amnesia. Rather, maybe it is a terrible case of ignore. You know how it is. You think about that one thing you have to get done but then just put it off and put it off. (The other term for this is procrastination, but it scares me so I will refrain from using it.) Then, you realize, "Oy! I should have done that months ago." So you scramble to get it finished and maybe aren't as happy with the results. Of course I must bring this topic up right before school starts, you may be thinking. Well, I think it applies to more than just schoolwork.

Consider this, "Remember your Creator in the days of your youth" (Ecclesiastes 12:1a NIV). This verse had me thinking for a while. Why do we need to "remember" God? Shouldn't we already think about Him all the time at all hours of the day? Saying "remember" makes it sound like we easily forget.

That, in my humble opinion, is the perfect reason for this verse. Sometimes God falls into our case of ignore. It's sad to think about and worse to admit, but it is true. Sometimes we remember God; we remember to read our Bibles, to pray before we eat, to make a comment in Sunday School or to lift our hands in the worship service. But, and this a big one, we ignore God. It's the same situation that I mentioned a moment ago. We remember what we need to do and then we put it off and put it off. The problem in this scenario is that eventually, after putting off and putting off, it will be too late. We won't have a second chance to remember.

I like the paraphrase of Ecclesiastes 12 found in The Message:

Honor and enjoy your Creator while you're still young,
Before the years take their toll and your vigor wanes,
Before your vision dims and the world blurs
And the winter years keep you close to the fire.

In old age, your body no longer serves you so well.
Muscles slacken, grip weakens, joints stiffen.
The shades are pulled down on the world.
You can't come and go at will. Things grind to a halt.
The hum of the household fades away.
You are wakened now by bird-song.
Hikes to the mountains are a thing of the past.
Even a stroll down the road has its terrors.
Your hair turns apple-blossom white,
Adorning a fragile and impotent matchstick body.
Yes, you're well on your way to eternal rest,
While your friends make plans for your funeral.

Life, lovely while it lasts, is soon over.
Life as we know it, precious and beautiful, ends.
The body is put back in the same ground it came from.
The spirit returns to God, who first breathed it.

See, the Teacher, David's son Solomon, reminds us that one day it will be too late. One day we will be old and gray. But now, in the days of our youth, we are given the perfect opportunity to remember and not to ignore. God deserves our all. He deserves our honor and praise. Let's lift our hands now and praise Him, not out of obligation, but out of love and remembrance and respect.

in control

2010-08-17T15:19:00.001-05:00

Are you in control? Check out the article I wrote for Real Teen Faith here.

photo found through Google Images

whatever you do

2010-08-10T11:49:00.002-05:00

This is just a silly update from me to you: Transformed Generation now has its very own blog button. Yes, that was silly.

I have recently noticed how every blog of any importance (well, most of them anyway) have amazing looking blog buttons. Of course Transformed Generation needs one! So this morning I wasted a lot of my time while searching online for a tutorial on ... making blog buttons. I tried several different things, but I think I like the one I ended up with. I got the picture from a header on The Cutest Blog On The Block's website. I think it is pretty nice.

This reminds me of something. Actually, it reminds me of a very important verse that I sometimes forget.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:17

So no matter what you do today, whether you are making blog buttons or preaching God's Word, do it all in the name of Jesus. He is the reason we are alive today. Let's not forget that.

do something

2010-08-08T18:10:00.002-05:00

I've been feeling ... strange ... for the past couple of days. I just got home from an amazing, exciting vacation and now I'm back to the same ol' stuff at home. I've been in a daze, laying on the couch and watching T.V., reading a little, and doing nothing. I even paused a couple of times in my (sarcasm warning) hectic schedule and thought about the things I could and possibly should be doing. But I couldn't get my behind off the cushion.

A few hours ago I actually got up to clean up my room because I had leftover unpacking to do. I have been wondering what the cause of my daze has been. I've come up with a few ideas:

It's summer. My job ended and I don't have anything happening this week so I feel sort of like I'm floating out in a deep abyss.
I haven't been reading my Bible. I should rephrase that. I haven't been studying my Bible. I've read a few verses every now and then over the past couple of weeks, but I haven't dug deep at all. I'm not sure why. Maybe I just didn't want to listen to what God was trying to tell me through His Word.
I haven't prayed much. This is another thing that needs rephrasing. I've prayed. I've prayed before meals, when I thought my life was going to end on an airplane (turbulance and I just don't mix), and an occasional, "Oh, I haven't prayed to you, God, so I'll just say hi now." This especially makes me feel sad because in the past few months I had felt like my prayer life was really strong. I mean, I was actually starting to see what praying constantly is like. But something just happened.

I think that something was me letting life and comfort get in the way of God and His relationship with me. I let my summer fun and day-dreaming and munchies and everything else get in the way of HIM. For some reason during the summer, when I have so much time to spare, I stopped reading my Bible regularly. I stopped writing in my journal (something I've found to really help my prayer life). I stopped because I didn't want to read deep Scripture in the morning (and I never got to it later in the day). I stopped because I was lazy.

What does the Bible say about laziness?

I could quote a lot of Scripture here, like these: Proverbs 10:4; 12:27; 26:15, Ecclesiastes 10:18. But my favorite is this:

"Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!" (Proverbs 6:6)

I read a devotional book when I was a little kid and it explained this verse very well. It said to look at the ant because ants are strong. Ants are so tiny; but have you seen them carry away picnic food? They carry enormous amounts compared to their body sizes. Also, ants are always busy. They are always running to and fro, taking food to the mound or digging crazy-cool tunnels. I've never seen a live ant not moving.

If you have the time, read this encouraging post that I discovered today from Abbie's blog.

Are you as convinced as I am that we need to change our laziness into productivity?

I think I should work on being a little more like an ant and a little less like a lazy couch potato. I think I should work more on my relationship with God than my relationship with the television set. I think I should actually do something, and as Abbie said in her blog, run.

Photo found through Google Images.

like a tidal wave

2010-07-26T09:15:00.000-05:00

There's a song by Owl City called Tidal Wave (see all the lyrics here). Part of it goes like this:

I forget the last time I felt brave
I just recall insecurity
'Cause it came down like a tidal wave
And sorrow swept over me

The first part of the song speaks of no hope, asking, "Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel or just the train?" Is there no escape from past regrets and past mistakes? Will I always feel afraid and scared? The beat of this song is not the only thing that I like about it. I like the words, because they express my never-long-gone feelings.

How often do you think about your past mistakes? Do you stay awake at night, as I have done, reliving your sins in your mind? Have you wondered if you'll ever be able to forget the past and move forward? There is hope.

I have to remind myself every once in a while of that fact. When I start feeling insecure and ashamed of my mistakes and failures, I have to remind myself that there is, in fact, a light at the end of the tunnel. There is hope, there is peace, there is forgiveness. It is easy to forget that promise; that's why you have to constantly remind yourself and others. Letting sorrow and sadness encompass your life won't make for very good living. I'm saying this as much to myself as to you. You have to know, you have to believe, that there is hope.

I came across a few verses in Job today as I was searching for hope in an online Bible dictionary.

"You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by. Life will be brighter than noonday, and darkness will become like morning. You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety" (Job 11:16-18).

Are those strong words or what? The promise that we will be able to forget our troubles, that our lives will be brighter than the brightest sky, that we will be secure and have hope. That's pretty amazing. How do we get there, though? How do we get a hold of that promise? I have two words for you and for me ... Jesus saves.

Jesus, who died on the cross for the sins of the world, can take away all of your pain and wipe away all of your tears. He can give you freedom. He can give you hope. He's waiting for you right now. His arms are open wide. All you have to do is accept His offer and accept His grace. Then some of the final words of Tidal Wave will be true for you, like they are true for me.

Then I was given grace and love
I was blind but now I can see
'Cause I found a new hope from above
And courage swept over me

putting my hands to good use

2010-07-24T22:42:00.002-05:00

I've been crocheting like crazy today. I'm a new crochet-er, but I'm getting the hang of it quickly. That's good, because I'm setting up a high bar for myself. I'm crocheting hats of different sizes for an amazing ministry called The James 2 Project. It was set up by a girl named Charity. She invited her friends and members of the Rebelution forum (therebelution.com) to participate by making hats for children in seemingly far-away orphanages. For the past two years she's collected hats in the fall and sent the hats to orphanages in cold places. She sent almost 400 hats each year. This year her goal is 500. I just found out about the project and crocheted my first baby hat today:

It definitely isn't the best hat I've seen, but it is a wonderful start for me!

Consider these words, found in the book of James:

What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:14-17 NIV)

Isn't that the truth? How often are we quick to wish a needy person well, or pray a small prayer, but not do anything physical about it? Now, I am not saying anything against prayer. As Christians we should pray about everything and pray continually. But at times I wonder if we let our own fear and anxiety hinder us from actually doing something. Sometimes we use prayer as a cop-out, thinking that as long as we pray for a person we've done our job.

It's as easy as bypassing an elderly woman as she tries to reach something on a higher shelf at the grocery store, or glancing past a man at the corner holding up a sign that reads HOMELESS. Often we opt to pray for the person instead of help the elderly woman or wave at the homeless man just because we're scared. Isn't that a tragedy?

I think The James 2 Project teaches me some about putting my faith into real action. I've thought about young children in poverty before and wondered how they stay warm in the winter. But have I done anything about it? I've prayed, but I haven't used my own talents and God-given abilities to actually do something. I'm doing that now, and it really makes me want to live out my faith in other ways.

Maybe the next time I see someone in need, I'll not only pray for that person but also figure out a way to help that person's physical needs.

time for a change

2010-07-19T12:25:00.001-05:00

(photo found through Google Images)

I have been away from the Blogger world for a while, partly because I didn't have anything good to write. Today I decided to change the blog look a bit. I'm so glad Blogger has added some new design features! I had a birthday while I was away (I'm seventeen now). I think I'm a little wiser now than I was when I was sixteen. :)

Today I've been thinking about some stuff and I thought I'd share it with you. It may come across as quite passionate but, I hope, not rude. I'm currently re-reading the book Emotional Purity by Heather Arnel Paulsen. It is a wonderful book that every teen should read. I just finished the third chapter this morning, and I love what Heather says about peer and mentor relationships.

Most people believe they can gain more insight from their peers than from their old-fashioned parents or grandparents. Sadly ... we have looked to our peers, and not our parents, for spirtual growth and emotional guidance. (pg 38)

I completely agree with this line of thinking. (I talked some about it in another blog post.) Before this passage, Heather outlines the history of the public school system and the move from one-room schooling to separate grades. Later on in the chapter, she gives insight into how this thinking moved over into Christian thinking and church set-ups, citing examples in youth groups and Bible study groups.

It is so interesting to me that the Christian society adopted the secular society's thinking and separated their members into age groups. If you go into almost any church today, you will see different classes set up by age. There are multiple children's classes, a youth group, a singles group, and mulitple adult classes (this depends on age of members and their children status [Do they have kids? How old? How many?]). Everything is separated by age, as if no two age can meet without some sort of disease being spread.

No wonder teenagers dislike their parents and parents don't understand their teenagers. No wonder this generation doesn't appreciate or respect older generations. This has been an on-going problem for years and years. It didn't start with our generation. I believe it started when schools and churches decided to separate and divide families, age groups, and grades.

Today, people are stuck in the ideology that they can only learn from their peers. Teenagers can only learn from other teenagers, adults can only learn from other adults, seniors can only learn from other seniors. But what do we end up with when that happens? What occurs when the only people we talk to are the ones just like us?

The teenager hears her own thinking repeated right back to her. Her teenage group has the same opinions and feelings that she does. School troubles, parent problems, and relationship issues are all that is discussed. The problem is that no one knows how to fix it, because all have the same problem. No one knows what to do, so in the end all they receive is more disheartening news from their peers.

The adult only hears what other adults are going through, and that is usually the same stuff that he is facing. No one knows how to handle their children's behavioral problems or their marriage issues because everyone is going through the same problem. In the end, each adult only wallows more in his or her own life issues and can't find answers.

It's the same for each group. It's a vicious circle, repeating over and over again. Each member of each group releases emotions, but the members who listen don't know what to do because they are facing the same struggles.

What would happen, though, if the youth group was (you can gasp here) done away with? What would happen if each group and class at church was formed so that each group had a few teenagers, a few singles, a few, adults, and a few seniors? What would happen, then, when each group member shared feelings and emotions and struggles?

The teenager who was confused about the future would hear from a single who just graduated from college. The person struggling with her singleness would hear advice from the woman who walked in her shoes twenty years ago. The adult fighting for a relationship with his son would hear insight from the teenager. The person facing a future of an empty nest would hear from the senior who lives by himself.

To me, that would be amazing to see. That set-up would be the most amazing reformation recent church history has ever seen. It would line up with Scripture, the older teaching the younger. I would love to see that happen in today's church. I think it's about time for a change.

(I want to add here that I haven't even addressed the idea of separating genders in Bible study groups. Heather Arnel Paulsen does a wonderful job of explaining it in her book, in case you are interested. For now I'll leave that subject for another blog post.)

Please don't kiss me in front of my friends...

2010-06-20T13:58:00.001-05:00

Today is Father's Day, and of course I must tell you a little about my dad. Though I'm kind of partial, I think my dad is the world's greatest father. He always listens to me, he gives me advice, he tells me he loves me, he hugs me a lot, and he makes me laugh. He's one of my best friends; I'm proud to say that because I know a lot of teenagers would not under any circumstances call their parents "friends."

Kids don't understand parents most of the time. I caught myself a few weeks ago wanting to say, in a very whiny voice, "Now WHY can't I drive by myself?" I'm trying to understand their reasoning. I haven't been driving for very long and I tend to freak out about little things like cars coming up beside me, so it is probably better in the long-run that I wait to drive solo. But still...

Even though I sometimes I don't like to admit that my parents are right and I'm wrong, I can see a lot of wisdom in the advice they give me. I think God set parenthood up perfectly. If children could be born in some way that excluded parents, think of the things that would happen! There would be no one to tell Johnny not to touch the hot stove (by the way, where would he have gotten the name Johnny?). There would be no one to tell Lizzie that she has to brush her teeth every day. Maybe these things don't sound like such a big deal to you, but try getting burns on the tips of your fingers and go a week without brushing your teeth and then see what happens. You'll be sorry you didn't listen to your parents.

But parents do more than just boss their kids around. What if there had been no one to tuck you in bed at night, or no one to kiss your bruised knee and tell you everything would be all right? What if you had to be the one to worry about paying the mortgage or buying groceries or getting the car repaired? We need our parents.

If we didn't have them, where would we be? I'm thankful for my dad and my mom today. I'm thankful for their reprimands and their rules and I'm thankful for their love and care. They really aren't so bad. And hey, sometimes I still need reminded not to touch the hot stove, and at those times I'm really thankful for my mom and dad.

*Photo found through Google Images.

Anonymous Encouragers

2010-06-13T14:26:00.000-05:00

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

I want to let you in on an exciting new ministry called Anonymous Encouragers. This Christian ministry is designed to reach individuals and communities, one anonymous letter at a time. The method: write anonymous letters to people listed in your city's phone book. The purpose: encourage and build up others without getting recognition for serving.

Wouldn't it be interesting to open up your mailbox and find a letter that had your name and address on it, but no return address? What would you think when you opened the envelope and found a handwritten note and an encouraging Bible verse? How would you feel when you read the initials A.E. and realized that you didn't know the sender?

Check out the website and see how you can join Anonymous Encouragers.

Service Starts At Home

2010-06-07T14:18:00.000-05:00

Lately I’ve learned a bit about service. I was feeling sort of depressed, wondering if I really do anything with my life. I mean, I have school and piano lessons and my part-time job but…that’s about it.

I’m not very social or into lots of projects like some teenagers are. I’ve never been on a missions trip. I don’t volunteer at a soup kitchen. So after thinking about my pathetic-ness for long enough, I realized something… service starts at home.

This was cemented into my mind recently when I had to do the worst chore of all times: clean the bathroom. Eww… I despise cleaning the bathroom, but I do it anyway because it’s my chore and I know that everyone in my family will be thankful for it.

Every couple of weeks I arm myself with all sorts of cleaning products and prepare to scrub like never before. The important thing that I realized while cleaning the porcelain throne is that service comes in all shapes and sizes. Even gross-looking bowls with funky odors.

For some reason, I’m prone to thinking that to be a servant, I must go out into the world and do noble things for the good of all. (That was a Veggie Tales reference, in case you didn’t catch it.) But sometimes service means doing small, unrecognized things; sometimes, it even means serving at home.

I’ve realized that I can’t expect to become some sort of great servant in the world if I am not yet a great servant at home. It’s like the verse in the Bible that says “whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (Luke 16:10). If I can’t take care of little acts of servitude, like cleaning the toilet seat, then how will I be able to go out into the world and serve?

Even though doing things at home—like taking out the trash, vacuuming, or toilet-scrubbing—is usually not recognized by loads of fan mail or an article in the paper, it is still important. Learning how to be a humble servant at home means that later on you will be a better servant away from home.

The best part: when you look at that brilliant-white bowl, you’ll recognize that you did something amazing, even if it was just cleaning the bathroom.

This post appeared on Real Teen Faith here.

Delivered

2010-06-05T20:50:00.002-05:00

This morning I was scared.

I scribbled in my journal, praying to God about my worries. Once again, the topic revolved mostly around the unknown future. I felt a lot like that little turtle up there. All alone, in the dark, shivering from fear. I poured out everything on the page, pausing once to think about my horrendous handwriting. But it didn't matter because I was just trying to let everything go. Finally, I just said, "God, you have to figure this out for me." I opened up my Bible and started reading my five Psalms for today.

As I was reading, I found this verse that fit my feelings perfectly: "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears" (Psalm 34:4). It was perfect. I had written eagerly and prayed that God would rescue me from my worries about future plans. I still was unsure, until I read this verse from Psalms. But then I knew; God had delivered me from all my fears.

No, I still don't have it all figured out. I'm not sure what will happen next week or next year, but the amazing thing is that I was able to give it all up to God and let Him take my fear away. Maybe the future is scary, and maybe I don't have it all planned, but God is right beside me and He is making the path clear for me.

Tonight I'm trusting in the Lord.

Photo found through Google Images.

A Word about Planning

2010-05-21T12:12:00.003-05:00

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

"[God] fulfills the desires of those who fear him." Psalm 149:14

Sometimes I get confused about verses like this, because they seem almost contradictory. First I think, "Well, it really doesn't matter what I think about anything, because God's plan will be fulfilled in the end." Then I wonder, "But doesn't this verse suggest that God will give me what I desire, what I want?" Thankfully these aren't the only two verses in the entire Bible, or I'd really be in a pickle! It is evident throughout Scripture that God cares about us and wants to know what our desires and dreams are. But He also wants us to serve Him.

I think it is pretty amazing how God lets us choose between following Him and going our own direction. He wants us to want Him. He wants us to love Him and have a great relationship with Him. To me it shows that He really does care about us. When we are seeking God by reading our Bibles and praying and truly devoting our lives to Him, I am sure that many of our desires will match His will. Because don't we want the same thing? God wants us to love him wholeheartedly and to go out and witness to others. I want to do what God wants me to do, so therefore I want the same thing.

Maybe that's a little confusing, but for some reason it just makes sense to me. I just can't see how the desires of our heart, our hopes and dreams and wants for the future, can't line up with God's will for us if we are striving so hard to be like-minded with Him. This isn't to say that we, because we are humans, slip up and desire sinful pleasures and selfish fulfillment. But when we truly seek to do what God wants us to do, then it becomes more habitual and, I'll venture to say, easy to follow Him and not our sinful desires.

It makes me think a lot about how I plan for the future. Sometimes my planning is ridiculous, I must admit, just because it is planning for a distant future and not right now. But it isn't so bad to write in my journal and pray and pour out my heart, telling God all of my wants and plans and dreams, and then to open my white-knuckled hand and let it go. To realize that God and I want the same thing. He wants me to love Him and worship Him and I want to love Him and worship Him. So I find myself thinking that it is okay to trust Him with my future, with my hopes and dreams, because in the end I only want what He wants for me. I only want to serve Him better and to love Him better, so I know that whatever He has in store for me will be good. Whether that applies to a particular college or career path or no career at all, it doesn't matter. I'm on the same page with God. He knows fully what I want and desire and I know that He wants me to trust Him.

It makes me feel better to know that my future isn't so mysterious and unknown because I've trusted it to Someone who knows me so well and only wants what is best for me. I'm thankful that He can handle it. The best part is that it shows me that I have no reason to worry, really, because He has it under control.

Extraordinary Things

2010-05-16T16:23:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking lately about my life and what I'm actually doing for God. I'm trying to separate what I do into two piles: "what I do for God" and "what I do for myself." The purpose of this is to convert the "what I do for myself" into "what I do for God," or just to delete that pile altogether.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm so small. I feel like my life is meaningless and like I'm not good enough or big enough to be used by God. I get discouraged sometimes when I read endless stories of people who found cures for things or invented something or saved the world. It makes me feel sad. What have I ever cured? What have I ever invented? Did I save the world today? Uh...place a big fat "no" here.

I'm not very fast. I'm not very strong. I'm not very big. I'm not very smart. I'm not very good. I'm not very talented. So what is there to do out there besides the hum-drum, everyday things like making my bed and taking out the trash for Mom?

Maybe that's the problem: I keep thinking that those things are ordinary and pathetic. For some reason I think that doing things for God translates into doing great, magnificent, wonderful things for God. I mean, I could make putting the trash bag in the trash can a lot more exciting...if I had a better attitude about it. Here is a moment to sigh, because I've just brought up the word attitude.

We can't all fly. We can't all save the cat out of the tree (this, in fact, is a very important job). But there are a few things that I can do: I can clean the toilet and I can mow the lawn and I can help out where I'm needed, even if it doesn't seem very spectacular. I can baby sit and visit my grandmother and wash someone's car and open the door for strangers and say "thank you" to the cashier who rings up my purchase at the store.

Maybe the biggest issue with me is that I keep calling these things ordinary, when really, to some people, they are extraordinary.

Rose in Bloom

2010-04-27T11:32:00.004-05:00

First of all, I have to say that I am in love with roses! They are my favorite kind of flower. I'm sure a lot of people, girls especially, say that, but for me it is the absolute truth. I've really never met a flower I didn't like, but roses are so amazing. I love how they start as tiny green buds and after days and days of waiting suddenly... amazingly, they pop open and let their petals unfold. Their beauty astounds me.

I think we can learn a lot about ourselves from roses.

For instance, think of all the different colors and kinds of roses. Some are small, some are large, some are red, some are pink, some are.... You get the idea. Besides that, there is also the fact that they grow. We grow to. I'm not talking about birth and growing taller and all that. I'm talking about the inside growth that we all must face. I think roses represent God's work in our lives. When we become Christians, we start as tiny green buds, barely able to lift our heads. Then, we grow. Real roses grow from water and sunlight, but we grow from reading the Bible and learning about God and spending time with Him. Little by little, we as buds get bigger and stronger, more confident in our faith and more reliant on God. It is a beautiful experience.

My favorite part, though, is when roses open up and bloom. That's a lot like us, too. At some point in your life in Christ, you have to really believe and really trust and say, "God, I'll do anything for you. I'll trust you no matter what." This is not totally unlike first accepting Christ, but it has a little more meat to it. This time comes after months and years of seeking God and wanting to be like Christ and trusting Him. This comes after times of disappointment and discouragement, when you must turn to God and lean on Him. This is the time when you unfold all of your petals, revealing everything that has gone into you to make you the person you are now. When you bloom, when you fully accept God as Lord of your life and fully trust in Him, that is beautiful. When you've gone through hard stuff and you think you've cried your eyeballs out, and you turn your face to God, that is beautiful.

Remember Me

2010-04-23T23:08:00.005-05:00

Finish this sentence: My name is... I'm sure it isn't too difficult for you to find a word to fit in there. I have not yet met anyone who has not had a name. Discussions lead to "Oh, have you met so-and-so?" and "You won't believe what so-and-so did yesterday!" Everyone has a name. A name is an identity, a tool to recognize someone. But what would happen if you didn't have a name?

Yesterday I visited a cememtery to see the grave of my great-grandma and great-grandpa. Though it sounds a little strange, I enjoy perusing grave stones, glancing at dates and names and times gone-by. As I went through my ritual yesterday, I stopped in front of an interesting stone. It was moldy and colored with age. The gray color of the stone was now almost black. The once beautifully engraved letters had been worn away. Time and rain and dust had beaten the stone into submission, and now the name and date was invisible. Imagine, someone had been buried there so long ago. Someone who had a name. But now those who visited the cemetery would stop and pause and wonder, "What was this person's name?"

I was struck with the sense that maybe this person wasn't forgotten after all. I didn't know who was buried there, but God did. Maybe in all our wants and dreams to impact the world and become immortalized through books and speeches, we've missed the fact that hundreds of years from now, most likely, no one will remember us. This thought isn't meant to be depressing. To me it seems bittersweet. Life goes on. But the amazing thing is that even someday when my outer shell is buried in the ground and the letters on the gravestone have worn away, God will still know who I am. He will still know who Jennifer is. He will still know who you are. I think that is completely amazing, and it makes me feel really special. To think that God will always care for me, and someday I'll be able to spend forever with Him in heaven. It is a scary thought and a happy thought all rolled into one.

My name is Jennifer.

When life gets in the way...

2010-03-24T12:59:00.004-05:00

...remember what is important.

Teenagers face a lot of stress. School stress, parent stress, life stress...it is just stressful! Recently I've been visiting colleges and trying to figure out what I'm going to do with my life after high school. It is definitely exciting, it's amazing, it's confusing, and it is also nerve-wracking. I mean, I'm not that terrible when it comes to change, but too much change at one time can leave me feeling queasy. To think, I only have a year left of high school and then poof! I'm out in the "real world." Typing that sentence makes me feel excited...and sick.

Sometimes (most times) I get really caught up in test grades and future plans. Some nights I sit thinking, Wow, I didn't even stop to pet my dog today. That isn't to say that dogs are the only important things in life (though mine are pretty great). But the point is, I walked past my dogs at least ten times that day and didn't even stop to pat their cute, little heads. I can think of a lot of other things that I've forgotten to do. I have forgotten to read my Bible, or brush my teeth (not good at all), or get out of my pj's (homeschooler alert). All this because I was stressing over how I'll be able to make it until summer and worrying about which college t-shirt I'll be wearing in two years.

That is why I've titled this "When Life Gets in the Way..." In all honesty, there is really nothing you can do to stop "life." It just comes, and you have to be ready for it. So when it does happen, it is important to remember not to get totally consumed by something that you forget everything else. Prioritize (scary word) and think straight. Yes, I may be attending college in the next couple of years, but I don't have to decide where I'm going now. Now is not the time to worry about something that isn't going to happen for quite a while. Now I should be focused on the tasks at hand and I should be conquering them. Later...later I can worry.

STOP:
Have you hugged your mom today?
Have you scratched behind your dog's ear?
Have you brushed your teeth today?

Don't let life get in the way of what is really important.

Show Me What It Means

2010-03-04T17:05:00.002-06:00

You don't want my perfection
All You ask of me
Is that I show up broken at Your feet
You don't want my religion
You are looking for devotion
That is more than just routine

So show me what it means
To take up my cross
And count it all as lost
All for the sake
Of knowing You
To love my enemies
And care for those in need
Show me what it means
To follow You

Show Me What It Means on Meredith Andrews' latest album, The Invitation

I listened to this today and it brought tears to my eyes. Countless times this has been my heart's cry. Many times I have prayed that God would show me how to be a shining light, a bit of salt, a drink offering poured out on His altar. Just show me what it means to follow You.

Today I'm feeling strange. I'm sort of in a funk; a strange, mixed up, depressing mood. But maybe I'm just looking at the wrong thing today. Maybe I'm just looking at me once again and failing to look at Him. Like the song says, God is looking for something more than routine. Maybe I've just gotten a bit too repetitive in my daily Bible reading and prayer that I've stopped listening to God and delighting in Him. Occasionally I wonder if I can really delight in God. I mean, He is this Superpower. He makes me feel so small. I can't understand why He even pays attention to me, and sometimes I forget. I forget so much that I start thinking that what I do for Him doesn't matter. That maybe reading the Bible and writing prayers in my journal doesn't do anything. Sometimes I just feel alone.

This is NOT true. Look at these verses.

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart," says Psalm 37:4 (NIV).
"Draw near to God and he will draw near to you," James 4:8 (NASB) reminds us.
"And the Lord God will wipe tears away from all faces." Isaiah 25:8 (NASB)
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" Hebrews 13:5 (NIV).
"You who fear him, trust in the Lord." Psalm 115:11 (NIV)
"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8 (NIV)
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." Psalm 37:7 (NIV)+
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!" Isaiah 30:18 (NIV)
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

God is with me!! That is definitely something to shout about and bring me out of my mood. He is with you too. He cares about you, He loves you, He wants to spend quality time with you. You don't have to buy a devotional book or a leather journal to delight in Him. And you don't have to spend an hour on your knees in a dark room, waiting to hear something. Try taking a walk to the mailbox, sniffing some posies, or kissing your pooch. Don't confine God to a time slot or a devotional period. God can reveal Himself to you throughout the day in many ways. Delight in Him, draw close to Him. He will never leave you.

You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews

Struggling with Struggles

2010-02-19T15:53:00.003-06:00

I've been reading the book of Job over the past few days, and I've been learning a lot. I've read through Job in its entirety once before and learned a lot then, too. If you are unfamiliar with it, Job is the story of a man who pretty much loses everything in his material life. He loses his children, he loses his possessions, he loses his health, and he begins to lose his sanity. The problem is that he can't figure out why he is going through this struggle. He can't understand why he would lose everything. God even said that Job was blameless and pure. If Job didn't do anything wrong, why was he being punished so?

Unfortunately, Job's friends didn't help him very much. They told him that he needed to confess the sin he had committed. They told him he was being punished by God for some hidden wrongdoing. The thing was that Job didn't commit a sin. He didn't do anything wrong, yet his life was horribly messed up.

Thankfully Job relies on God and rebukes his friends for thinking that because Job did some sin--one that he actually didn't commit--God is punishing him. Job realizes that God has never left his side. God stayed with Job and was there for Job when He was needed. That is pretty amazing, if you ask me.

I think my biggest struggle with struggles is that I feel like I'm alone. I feel like no one else cares about me. I feel like I'm stranded on an island all by myself, and even the animals left the island. The birds flew away and the fish left the shallow waters. Even the last tortoise took one look at me and very slowly moved through the sand to the water and even more slowly swam away. The important thing that I so easily forget is that I am not alone. God has not left my side. He is ready to pick me up when I trip and hold my hand as I cross a shaky bridge.

God says in Joshua 1:5, "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. . . . I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 says it perfectly: "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"

That speaks volumes to me! The part where it says "be content with what you have" reminds me of Job. He had to be content that he had a couple of lousy friends and boils on his skin. He had to be content that he had nothing of value. Yet, really, he had everything. He had God right beside him. Guess what the best part is? Job made it through his struggle. He relied on God and God carried him through the storm. I can only imagine that when he came out alive he trusted God forevermore. God was his buddy when he had none, his shelter when he had no home, his comforter when he had no one's shoulder to cry on. I am positive that God will do the same for us. God will help us through our struggles and trials and we will come out as better people on the other side. We will realize that God was always beside us, even when we felt all alone.

If you are feeling alone, please know that God is waiting for you to turn and look at Him and see that He is there beside you. He will help you through what you are struggling with because He promised He would not leave you. He loves you.

"For being only..."

2010-02-14T15:54:00.002-06:00

Since the Olympic Winter Games started two days ago, I've once again become annoyed by the term "teenager." The beauty of the Olympics, in my opinion, is that athletes as young as sixteen can compete. This has always filled me with excitement to think of someone my own age representing what teenagers really can accomplish. To me it is like a billboard saying "hey, just because we haven't lived that long doesn't mean we can't do great things." One of my biggest issues with watching the Olympics on television is the reporters/narrators/announcers, whatever you prefer to call them.

These announcers can occasionally provide useful information to the audience. Most of the time, they try to give some information on the athletes. One of the sayings I've heard the most over the past couple of days is "for being only..." with an age added to the end of it. "For being only nineteen..." "For being only seventeen..." It really makes me laugh. If they didn't already know it, these young people compete alongside athletes who are in their late twenties and early thirties. Though perhaps they have not worked as long or had as much experience as the older athletes, they have still done their best. "For being only..." such and such an age they have done pretty well, if you ask me.

This goes straight back to the verse that says "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young..." (see sidebar). Obviously the teenage Olympic athletes have not allowed this to happen. My only hope is that more young people would do the same.

God Has a Sense of Humor

2010-02-12T16:13:00.007-06:00

I was reminded, once again, today of God's splendor and awesomeness. I stepped outside of my house and gasped. A winter wonderland. I know there are a lot of people who are rather sick of snow at the moment, but I'm not one of them. I looked across God's gorgeous land and smiled. It all brought me to one conclusion: God must have a sense of humor.
Every once in a while I get depressed and full of myself. I wallow in my heartaches and pity myself because of this or that. I whine about what I don't have and I complain about the things that I do have. It's pathetic. It's sad. It's plain silly.
Then, something will happen that totally blows my mind. Suddenly I'll realize that my life is amazing. It is sometimes a little thing, like a hug from my mom. Other times it is something big, and that is exactly what it was this time. In less than forty-eight hours I realized how blessed I am. That is why I have decided that God must have a sense of humor. I often wonder if He's looking upon our lives and, though He understands our feelings, wonders how we could have forgotten so soon. Perhaps He thinks of something that is about to happen and smiles to Himself. He knows. I'm sure of it. He knows that in just a few moments His daughter will be completely surprised. She'll be taken aback by some spectacular work of His.
Today, I was shocked by His creation. I was amazed by His beauty. Today, I once again remembered that I am so blessed. I can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring.

Change the World

2010-02-07T13:54:00.002-06:00

I'm going to say some more about figuring out what to do with your life (in this case, my life). I've reached that age where I have to start deciding things. Oh, that sounds scary just typing the words. I had already decided to get an early start on college searching, only to realize that one of my "maybes" says I need to apply by the end of this school year. Helloooo, I'm thinking, that is only three months away. The thought of being a senior next year makes me feel a bit queasy. It isn't like I'm not ready to be done with high school, but I'm just a little scared.

Then today the thought occurred to me, as it does every so often, that I could really change the world. As a human being, more importantly as a Christian, I could completely change the world! (Or at least a small part of it.) When I think about where I want to go to college and what profession I want to go into and all of that slightly scary stuff, the thought that comes to my mind most often is that my decision will affect a lot of people. Not only the people I already know, but the people that I don't know. I assume that I'll meet new people at college and later in a job situation. It really makes me wonder what people think of me in the first five minutes after introductions. Can you even comprehend what affect you can have on a person in five minutes? I know what I think when I meet someone. Like a checklist in my brain, I can go right down the list and make invisible checkmarks. There is usually something about appearance and personality, about speaking style and conversation content. In five minutes I can pretty much analyze a person and decide if I like them or not. Are they shy or outgoing? Are they talking so much because they are nervous, or is that just how they are? Did they look at their hair this morning? How can they like that TV show? On occasion, my thoughts aren't the nicest. I'm working on that, though.

Don't worry, I'm now getting to my point. If each one of us met with someone and talked to that person for five minutes, what would he or she say about us? I can only imagine. Would someone notice that you talked mostly about yourself? Would someone notice that you can't seem to make eye contact because you are so nervous? Would someone notice you looking him or her up and down? Would someone see that you were crazy in love with Christ? Would someone see that you would do anything for this person, even though you had only just met? I know what I want people to see me as. Unfortunately, I can't say that in the first five minutes of talking to someone he or she would see that I loved God with all of my heart, soul, and mind. But that is what I want them to see.

I want to be a walking billboard for Jesus. I want to do more than wear a Christian t-shirt. (Please take note: I do wear those t-shirts and I like them very much.) I want someone to meet me and later say, "Wow, there was something amazing about her!" And I don't want that "amazing" part to be how my hair looked or how unwrinkled my clothes were. I want someone to know that I am in love with my Savior and that He is the best thing in the entire world. I want to be a witness without having to say anything at all.

I can change the world. Think about, on average, how many people you "meet"; even those you meet without official introductions being made. That includes the people you pass in Wal-Mart. That includes the person you accidentally bump into and mumble "sorry" to. It makes me think a little more about what five minute window someone is going to look through. I'd really prefer them to look through the window of Oh! My day is just wonderful! I'm tip-toeing through the tulips! and not the Could this day get any worse? (Then it started raining, of course, and me without an umbrella.) I think the most important thing a person can do in her life is to be a walking signpost for Jesus. I think that is how Christian young men and women can change the world. We can stop being self-centered and prideful. We can think about shining Christ in all things. We can change the world, one little five minute window at a time.

iRead

2010-01-16T16:02:00.002-06:00

I read a lot. Not as much as I would like to, but I fit in some reading time when I get a chance. I like books so much because...

...they take me to other worlds. As Marty said in the movie adaptation of Love Comes Softly, "Once you can read you can have any adventure you've ever dreamed of." It's true.

...they teach me about history. Read a few books like Uncle Tom's Cabin, Across Five Aprils, or Night and you will be captivated by events that we all too often forget.

...they give me perspective. I love the movie Ratatouille, especially the part where the mean critic orders some "perspective." That is one thing about books that I so adore. They give me a little piece of perspective. Right now I'm reading The Call of the Wild, and I have never been more amazed by a dog's life. Buck and I have already endured a brutal fight and now are weary from long, hard days on the snowy trails. Perhaps it sounds silly, but I feel as though I've been to the Klondike, I've walked upon the mushy snow and looked across the icy river.

If you haven't yet experienced the beauty of imagination, I plead with you to pick up any book and start practicing. For some may think that books are stupid fairy tales meant for children (though it could be argued that I still am one), but in reality books can fulfill our imaginations most wildest dreams. What great book have you read lately?

I think God knew that we humans would have a love affair with books. (Obviously He did, because He created us!) But don't you think it is pretty amazing that He gave us a Book? He gave us a Book that He inspired (see 2 Timothy 3:16), a Book that speaks of how great He is. My favorite thing about the Bible is that it includes a lot of genres and styles of writing. You have historical tales, adventure stories, what seem like fantasy chapters, romance novels, and genealogical records all rolled into one. From the gallant tale of Abraham leading his son to be sacrificed to the romantic story of Ruth and Boaz, from the gripping story of Paul's persecution to the harrowing display of Jesus' crucifixion to the awesome narration of Jesus' rise, the Bible is so packed with stories that it is sometimes difficult to read through them all. I must admit that I have not read them all. I have not yet discovered all of the little details. I have not yet glimpsed every adventure. But just writing about the ones that I have read makes me want to read the new ones even more!

I find it so interesting that there are people who have devoted their whole life to Christ, yet they have not read all of His Word. I am not condemning here, because as I said, I have not read the entire Bible either. But, the question I so often ponder is this: What is holding me (or you) back? Why have I not read every page of my Bible? It is something to think about. Is it because I'm too busy? Is it because I just don't care?

I have tried in the past to read through the entire Bible in a year, and I failed miserably. Thankfully I am reminded that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). So I'm trying again this year. I've found a plan through SUSIE Magazine (see sidebar for link). It isn't important to read the Bible in one year. It isn't important to stick to a regimen. The important thing is to open yourself up to what God has to say. What can the Bible teach you about Him? What can you hear from Him as you read the Bible? Think about how many years the Bible has been around. Think about how it has been transported over many years and many generations. It has ended up in your lap. How amazing is that? This Book that God inspired! You have this Book. You can read for yourself all the things that God has done over the years. The Bible is powerful.

You might not have a lot of time right now, but if you can, go get your Bible. Feel the cover of it and cherish it as you open it to the first part, Genesis Chapter One. Read the first verse. "In the beginning..." The beginning is a very good place to start.

Follow the Recipe

2010-01-12T16:45:00.006-06:00

Today I created a "hot-milk sponge cake." It turned out deliciously wonderful. I'm not here to tell you about food, however. (Though that would be extremely fun.) I want to share some of the things I learned while baking this cake.

Life is sort of like a recipe. There is a list of ingredients: you, of course, your family, your friends, your school, your dog, your books, your Bible, your church, your... I hope you get the idea. There is the actual recipe that you have to follow. Preheat oven. Mix eggs and sugar. You pretty much know how recipes go, I imagine. The point of a recipe is that when you follow it correctly, you will end up with a pretty nice-looking finished product.

The question: What recipe should you follow? I mean, there are a lot to choose from. You could make a chocolate cake or a chicken casserole or a Neiman-Marcus cookie or a pumpkin pie. (Yes, most of those were some sort of dessert.) The point is, you have to make a choice. You have to decide if you are going to follow your parent's recipe, your teacher's recipe, your youth pastor's recipe, your recipe, or God's recipe. You have a choice to make.

We have a lot of expectations to live up to. I love the book Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. These twin brothers talk a lot about teenagers rebelling against low expectations. But I've noticed that for a lot of people, sometimes there is a struggle to live up to high expectations. For instance, your mom or dad might want you to do something. They might want you to become a lawyer or a musician or a writer. It might have started out as a nice idea. Perhaps when you were younger you showed an interest in playing the guitar, and your dad said you were good enough to make a CD. You joked about it, but for some reason your father decided that you should record a record. "You shouldn't waste your talent," he says. "You could be a star." If you follow your father's recipe, you'll step into a world of guitar picks and recording studios.

I made that example up, in case you were wondering. But I have a feeling it is true for some teenagers. Maybe it isn't about your parents, maybe it is about you. This is something I've experienced personally. I sometimes tell myself that I'm destined for greatness. I think my definition of "greatness" is a little off. Greatness isn't defined by social status or physical appearance. It isn't defined by a job or a neighborhood or a car. It isn't defined by all A's or SAT scores. But occasionally, I feel like this is the greatness I should reach. Occasionally I tell myself I'm not good enough because I didn't make the score I wanted. If you look at my recipe, it calls for perfect SAT scores and scholarships from every top college in the States.

You might not be pressured to follow your parent's recipe or your own recipe. Take this idea and apply it to any place where you feel high expectations. Do you understand my point?

See, I'm starting to understand that depending on who's recipe I follow, the end result will change. If I follow my recipe, I'll end up in discontentment and disappointment when I get my SAT scores in March and realize that I didn't make the highest scores in the world. (Though that doesn't mean I won't try.) I'll end up depressed when I realize that I can never attain the level of perfection displayed on every magazine cover at the grocery store. I'll end up unhappy and unfulfilled.

Thankfully, I have a hope that if I don't follow my recipe, I won't turn out that way. I have found a recipe that will include different ingredients depending on the person, but the end result will be the same: life. Find a Bible and start reading. That is the recipe I'm referring to. That is my somewhat-gigantic recipe card that I must read to find something amazing. If I follow that recipe, I will be fulfilled and happy. If I follow this recipe, the end result will be truly amazing.

Jesus said in John 10:10 that He came "that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 6:47 records the time when Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, he who believes has everlasting life." God tells us in Jeremiah 29:13, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Romans 6:23 says that "the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." 1 John 5:20 says, "[Jesus] is the true God and eternal life." I promise you this: if you take time to read God's amazing recipe, you will find amazing things. You will stumble upon amazing discoveries and secrets. You will find words of peace and promise. You will find hope and assurance. You will find life.

The Past-The Present-The Future

2010-01-09T17:35:00.005-06:00

I spent some time with my grandmother recently. Every time I am with her, I always learn something; usually I learn something about the past. Occasionally we'll talk about past generations, like about my great-grandmother or about my grandpa or about my dad. My grandma really couldn't be compared to a book. She doesn't always tell things in order and she usually has to go back to fill in a piece of the puzzle that she forgot about. But strangely, though I love books, I really like this style of story-telling. My grandma tells me about raising my dad when he was little, and we look at photo albums. I laugh at the funny clothes and hairstyles, but really I truly enjoy this peak into the past. For some reason I like knowing where I came from. I like knowing who my great-great-somebody was and I like learning about a relative I've never met before.

I've thought a lot about friendships and the like recently. I've heard so many times that it is necessary for teenagers to be with other teenagers. It is necessary to be involved with peers in school, in social activities, in friendships. While I don't think this is wrong, I don't necessarily think it is right either. I've seen too many teenagers roll their eyes at their parents and groan when they hear they have to spend time with "grown-ups." The idea of "socialization" is extreme in this culture. Apparently if someone has less than 150 contacts in their Facebook "friends" list they are considered under-socialized or un-socialized. If someone doesn't have daily activities with their peers they are considered lonely and friendless. Even parents mention key phrases like "She just doesn't have many good friends" or "He just isn't very social." As if, by making dozens of friends with people our own age, we will solve some great life problem.

I've noticed too often that the majority of a person's teenage years are spent texting, Facebook-ing, blogging (hey, that's me!), IM-ing, chatting on the phone, or the like. You'd think with all the hours spent doing these things teenagers could've invented the next greatest cell phone or discovered a new element or devised a new mathematical theory. Of course this isn't the case. Teenagers learn most of these activities from other teenagers. Raise your hand if you know someone over forty who does any of these things.

Okay, they're might be a few (or several) people you know over forty who texts, blogs, or Facebooks. You can even think older than that. How many people do you know who are in their fifties or sixties? Perhaps not a lot. I believe that we spend too much time with people our own age. You might say that we learn from each other. That is very true. But do we learn good things or bad things? Do we learn bad habits like staying up late to text "the one we love"? Do we learn bad habits like disrespecting our parents? I think a lot of our "friend energy" should be spent with people older than ourselves.

Honestly, there are a lot of great things that you can learn from someone older. You can learn from the twenties group about how hard it is to start a career or what you should be doing now to prepare. You can learn from the thirties group about falling in love, getting married, and having children. You can learn from the forties group about raising kids and providing for a family. You can learn from the fifties group about the joys of marrying off children and welcoming grandchildren. You can learn from the sixties group about.... The list continues on and on. How much of that are you learning from your peers? I imagine nothing listed above can be gained from spending enormously large amounts of time with your peers.

Perhaps it is time to stop being pathetic and realize that your parents and grandparents actually know what they are talking about. Become more involved in your parents' and grandparents' lives. You know, they won't live forever. Most likely your grandparents will pass away before your parents, and your parents before you. It seems very important to me to learn from them while I have the chance. Until you realize the joys of long talks over a photo album or family discussions about life issues, you're missing out on a lot of amazing "socialization."

Get Ready, World! Here I Come!

2010-01-08T08:53:00.003-06:00

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Something happens when a person becomes a teenager. Typically we say that a teenager is between the age 13 and 19. During that time period, a lot of things happen. We start high school, we get our driver's license, we might go to college, we might get a full-time job. That is a lot of things in only seven years!

Usually, when a person becomes a teenager, they start getting a lot of questions thrown their way. What are you going to do after graduation? Where are you going to college? You are going to college, aren't you? What do you want to be when you grow up? The replies can sometimes be shaky. I'm not sure yet. I really haven't thought about it. Probably. I don't know. Of course, that is just not acceptable! Apparently we haven't gotten the memo that by the time we leave the high-school campus we are supposed to know exactly what we are going to do. By graduation, we should know where we are going to college and what we are going to do with our lives. No pressure!

To me, that seems crazy. I understand the curiosity from close friends and family to want to know what your next plans are. But for some reason saying "I don't know" is followed by a sympathetic gaze and a polite "Well...you have some time." Maybe I just don't want to tell you what I want to do. That probably isn't the case, but sometimes you just don't know. I personally have thought and thought and thought, and I'm still not sure. I have guesses and assumptions and hopes and dreams, but all I'm really sure of is that I'm alive today and in a few minutes I'm going to go eat breakfast. Other than that, it's pretty shaky. A lot of times this makes me feel insecure and upset. I should know by now, shouldn't I? I should know what I want to do with the rest of my life and I should know what I'm going to do after graduation. I'm still waiting for God to drop a note in front of me. I'm still waiting for God to tell me what He wants me to do job-wise. I'm still waiting...

If your story sounds anything like mine, I want you to know that there is hope. Shockingly enough, your future is already set. You might not know it yet, but God does. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Just as the psalmist said, I say to you, "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" (Psalm 27:14). "For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6).

Take heart that God knows. After Jeremiah 29:11, God gives us more hope. "'Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart'" (Jeremiah 29:12-13). In the midst of confusion, in the sting of fear, seek God with all of your heart. He will help you make important decisions. Trust Him to lead you in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:24). Maybe He won't drop a note right in front of me, but I'm holding out hope that eventually I'll know what God wants me to do.

Paperdolls and Fitting In

2009-12-18T16:59:00.005-06:00

I started reading Paperdoll by Natalie Lloyd today. It is a book with a subtitle that reads, "What happens when an ordinary girl meets an extraordinary God." Natalie discusses her knowledge of paperdolls--paperdolls on magazine covers and paperdolls we meet everyday. It's brought a lot of things to mind for me; even though I say I want to be different, sometimes I just wish I could be made out of the same paper as everyone else.

The problem, I believe, is trapped somewhere deep inside of us; way, way deep in the darkest trenches of our soul. It is this want, this need, to be accepted and cared about. For some reason we humans just want to fit in. I see it affect so many of my peers today, and it affects me too. I see the way others act, the way others think, and I wonder if I should be acting and thinking the same way. It goes farther than the style of my clothes and hair and the brand of my jeans and shoes. It is the thought that if I do what everyone else does, if I conform, then I won't be an outcast or a stranger. I'm sure I would be welcomed into the group with open arms, or at least that is my hope. Every time I've told a person "I don't listen to that kind of music," or "I wouldn't watch that movie," something's sunk inside of me. On the one hand I was proud that I had voiced my opinion, but on the other I felt sort of sad. Now they knew that I wasn't the same; they knew that I didn't fit in. It goes beyond movies and music though. I've told a person that my ring was a purity ring and only smiled after they said "I have one too." I waver at telling people that I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day, because the response is "I can't wait that long!" or "How will you know if he's a good kisser?" To which I smile politely and reply with my best answers, but at the same time I start wondering about it myself. Maybe I'm wrong to do such a thing. This is totally impossible! I'm nuts! Sure, after a while I'm fine, but for a moment there I wished that I was made out of the same paper as everyone else.

God says that I'm beautifully and wonderfully made (see Psalm 139). Well, I wouldn't say I'm beautiful. But God also says that He doesn't look at the outward appearance; He looks at the heart (see 1 Samuel 16:7). So maybe I'm just looking at the wrong paperdolls. Perhaps I'm looking at the perfectly cut, identical dolls and missing the hand-shaped, unique dolls. I've learned over and over again that God's opinion is the most important, even if I don't look like all the other paperdolls.

A Star Is Born

2009-11-11T21:22:00.004-06:00

I must admit that I'm not a huge fan of this word "teenager." I suppose my dislike began when I heard what most people expect from "teenagers." The phrase "typical teenager" is often used and accompanied by words such as "responsibility" or "respect." Usually the latter aren't said in a good way. I am told by the world (media, adults, etc.) that in my teenage years (age thirteen to nineteen) I am supposed to find myself. I actually didn't realize that I was missing.

Of course, when I turned thirteen I was excited to be called "teenager" and I felt prideful as I looked down at the little twelve-year-olds. I had the pleasure of hearing people say that I was not a typical teenager. Others were shocked when they found out I'm a teenager. How can this be? adults wonder. Can a teenager actually have good morals, be responsible, and have respect for elders? Of course they say it can't be, because a teenager is one who goofs off, attends parties, slides by in school, and watches enormous amounts of television. Teenagers talk back to their parents and sneak out of the house after curfew.

In reality, I think teenagers are confused. At least I have experienced confusion. I'm stuck here in these teenage years between childhood and adulthood. Apparently these are my last days of youth and I must enjoy a frivolous life because one day I'll be a grown-up. I have memories of what used to be, and I have dreams of what will be. But what about right now? I've heard countless times to enjoy my youth. Even Henry Wadsworth Longfellow says, "Youth comes but once in a lifetime." True. That, however, does not mean I should squander my youth. Exactly the opposite. It means I should embrace my youth and act on it. I should stop focusing on the past and the future, and focus on now.

Young adults, "teenagers," can be responsible people. Young adults can change the future, because we are the future. It's sort of like the movie "It's A Wonderful Life" where everytime a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. I am confident that every time a teenager decides to step up and rise above the norm, a star is born.